


Advent Calendar

by Selly_Blackbird



Category: 19天 - Old先 | 19 Days - Old Xian
Genre: Advent Calendar, Boys Kissing, Christmas, Christmas Decorations, Christmas Fluff, Christmas is to forgive, Cuddling & Snuggling, Gift Exchange, Ice Skating, Keep You Warm, Kissing, M/M, Mistletoe, Sibling Bonding, Snowball Fight, Tianshan - Freeform, Ugly Holiday Sweaters, charity - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2020-01-14
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:48:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 34,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21629377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Selly_Blackbird/pseuds/Selly_Blackbird
Summary: This is a TianShan advent calendar that nobody asked for, but I know deep down in your heart all of you want this fluff ball. Am I right, or am I right?24 days,24 little storiesaka How Mo Guan Shan and He Tian get together through the Christmas.
Relationships: Brother Qiu/He Cheng, He Tian/Mo Guan Shan
Comments: 90
Kudos: 507





	1. Hanging decorations

**Author's Note:**

> Before we let ourselves to sink down in the fluffy, syrupy story, let me clarify some things. I know Christmas isn't really celebrated in China, so let's pretend, suddenly the country was hit with Christmas spirit. I also know it doesn't snow everywhere in the country during December, so let's imagine they live in a city where they have (a little) snow. It's a fiction, guys; everything can happen! :)  
> The characters are all aged up; they're around 17.  
> English isn't my first language, and I don't have a beta, so pls excuse my mistakes.

In December the whole World was in Christmas mood. China was one of the few countries where this festival wasn't celebrated, although it was getting popular. The bigger cities were decorated with Christmas trees, Santa Clauses and shinny, glittery ornaments.

The elders didn't like this trends, but Mo Guan Shan was secretly so found of Christmas. He and his mother had their own traditions, and they always put up a tree and decorate their home. Guan Shan biggest dream was to spend Christmas in a country where it's popular, like in London or America. But until he hadn't got a lot of money, he had to settle down what his city could offer.

This year he felt lucky because the weather was cold and they even had a little snow. It wasn't like those small Alpine villages what he saw on TV, but still a tiny layer of snow painted the roof white.

The other thing why he felt lucky was because his school decided to decorate the building with Christmas ornaments. Guan Shan maintained the illusion that he hated the whole idea, but the truth was that he was the first one who volunteered to help.

So, now Guan Shan was carrying beautiful Christmas ornaments and listen to his teacher instructions. He didn't mind he has to spend his free day in the school, but he didn't understand why He Tian was there too. As far as he knew Tian didn't care about Christmas. Maybe he got in trouble with somebody again, and it was a punishment for him. Guan Shan decided to ignore him for the whole day. Every time he talks with Tian, they ended up in the principal's office.

But his luckiness didn't last long when his teacher teamed him up with He Tian to put on some decoration over the windows.

"But, Teacher, why with He Tian?"

"You two are so tall, and I don't want to make the girls stand on the ladder. It will be an easy task for you two. Now, listen to me, the plan is..." And this teacher explained which decoration where will go.

When they were left alone, Guan Shan was glaring at Tian.

"Oh, come on, Momo! It'll be fun. We will put up the deco fast, and then we can spend the rest of the day together."

"Like I want to spend my free time watching your stupid face!"

"Well, you still looking at me, instead of doing your job," Tian smirked. "Like my face that much, little Mo?"

"Shut up!" Momo rolled his eyes and climbed up the ladder. "Give me that garland, and hold this ladder properly, because if I fall, I'm going to kick your ass!"

"Promises, promises," muttered Tian and lift up the garland.

While Guan Shan was fixing the garland above the window, Tian was holding a ladder and kept talking to Momo.

"It's a shame that your uniform isn't a skirt. What a view I'd have from here."

"What the fuck, He Tian?" Momo was so shocked from that statement he accidentally dropped the garland. "You're a fucking pervert He Tian! Stop staring my ass and give me back that fucking garland!"

"But you have a nice ass, Momo."

Guan Shan decided not listening whatever Tian would say, and he would just concentrate on his job.

They were decorating the tenth window, Jian Yi and Zhengxi showed up. Jian Yi was his usual hyperactive self.

"Redhead! He Tian! I didn't know you two were here too! What are you do after this? Hm? We will go to the park. They opened an ice rink there, and it's free!" Jian Yi hit the ladder with his hand, and all the thins shook under Guan Shan. He had to hold onto the window not to fall down.

"Stop shaking the ladder, you idiot!" Guan Shan shouted down, but only Zhengxi heard him who apologetically waved to him and lifted up another decoration. Jain Yi and He Tian were already deep in their conversation; they were planning the afternoon.

"Hey, Redhead! Can you ice-skate?" Jian Yi asked and shook the ladder again. Guan Shan managed to catch a pipe in the last minute.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" He yelled. "If you don't want to help why don't you just piss off? You're fucking annoying."

"What have you done?" Jian Yi asked He Tian."Redhead is so angry."

"He is breathing," Guan Shan murmured. It was only Zhengxi who heard it. He chuckled and began to pull Jian Yi to the exit.

"See you at the park!" Jian Yi waved happily. He wasn't looking where he was going, and he got tangled in a wire what was under Guan Shan's ladder. Jian Yi stumbled, jerked the ladder and this time Guan Shan didn't manage to hold onto anything. He fell off the ladder, right into He Tian's arm.

Guan Shan knew he fell off the ladder. He closed his eyes and waited for the pain, but it didn't come.

"Are you alright?" asked He Tian softly. Guan Shan didn't answer, and then he felt Tian lightly caressed his arm."Momo? Are you alright?"

Guan Shan opened the eyes, and he wished he hadn't done. He Tian was holding him in his arms like a groom would keep his bride. Half of the garland was around Tian's neck, the rest on Guan Shan's head. It was the most embarrassing situation where Guan Shan had ever been. His face was red as his hair, but he wasn't the only one who was flushed. He Tian also had pink cheek, neck and ears.

"Put me down, asshole."

Guan Shan jumped out of Tian's embraced, and they stood in front of each other in awkward silence.

"Thanks," Guan Shan murmured.

"Yeah, no problem" whispered Tian, massaging his own neck and avoiding Guan Shan's gaze. His ears were still red. "So, will you come to the park?"

"Yes."

"Really?" Tian lifted his head in surprise. His embarrassment disappeared in an instant.

"Yeah, so I can cut Jian Yi's throat with an ice skate. Fucking idiot..."

"You wouldn't do that," Tian laughed.

Before Guan Shan could say anything, their teacher came back and asked for their assistance in the main hall.


	2. Ice skating

It was already late in the afternoon when Guan Shan and He Tian finished with the decorating. Their teacher thanked them for the hard work, but Guan Shan really didn't mind it. He had a great time, despite that he fell into He Tian's arm. But he would never think about that again, and if you don't remember it, it's like never happened, right? So Guan Shan definitely didn't remember Tian's soft voice and touch... Nope.

To be honest, Guan Shan didn't want to go to the park and spend his time with these idiots, but the mention of ice skating made him say yes. He couldn't recall when was the last time he wore an ice-skate. Well, he remembered, but he used the same method to forget it. He simply didn't think about it, because it was the part of his life of the BEFORE. This was how he called all the things that happened to him before the point where everything had changed.

The park wasn't too far away from the school. Jian Yi and Zhengxi were already there when they arrived.

"Guys! We are here" Jian Yi called out loudly and waved with his hand. Several elderly people gave them a disapproving look.

"Fucking energy bomb, " muttered Guan Shan. "Does he brew his coffee with an energy drink or what the fuck?"

"Don't be so grumpy, Momo," Tian laughed.

"Fuck off."

Jian Yi was wearing a skate, but he wasn't on the ice yet, Zhengxi was teaching him how to stand and hold his body.

"Hey, guys!" He said, excited "XiXi is teaching me how to skate. I've never done this before. Can you, guys, ice-skating?"

"I can," said Tian.

"You can rent ice skates there," Zhengxi pointed to a little gingerbread house.

Tian immediately started to walk there, but when he noticed Guan Shan didn't follow him, he turned around.

"Aren't you coming, Momo?"

"No."

Guan Shan leaned on to the ice skate rink's wall and watched the people. There weren't only children, but several young adults, like them and older people too. Everybody was having fun.

Meanwhile, Jian Yi stepped on the ice and immediately fell on his ass. Guan Shan tried to hide his laugh, but when Jian Yi attempted to get up and fell back, he laughed out loudly. ZhengXi gave him a nasty look.

He Tian came back with a hockey ice skate on his feet and stepped on the ice. He was a good, and confident skater, Guan Shan could see that. After a while, Jian Yi also managed to skate a whole circle without falling. ZhengXi was with him all the time, and if it was necessary, he held Jian Yi's hand to support him.

He Tian stopped in front of him, "Why don't come and skate with us? I'll hold your hand if you're scared."

"Hold your own fucking hand!"

"What's wrong? Are you afraid that I'll beat you if we race? Or you can't skate?" He Tian was teasing Guan Shan, and he knew it was working.

"Don't annoy me, you chicken dick or I'll kick your ass!"

"Promises... Always these promises, little Mo. Wanna kick my ass? Then come and catch me!" He Tian slipped away, smiling.

"Fuck you! You're a dead man, He Tian!" Guan Shan spun around and rushed into the gingerbread house. He rented a skate for an hour. The man wanted to give him a hockey type, but he chose figure-skate type. He put on the skates in no time and went back to the rink, but before stepping on it, he froze.

What if he forgot how to skate? What if he makes a fool of himself? He looked up and saw He Tian's cocky smile and his blood was boiling again. He will show this arrogant bastard!

Guan Shan stepped on the ice. He pushed himself a little to find out how much he remembers. Everything came back; all the techniques, tricks, movements, he saw all of them clearly in his head. With the snowball in his hand, he started to chase He Tian, who smilingly 'ran away'.

He caught up with He Tian very quickly, but he missed the throw, and the snowball hit the rink's wall. He Tian gave another cocky smile to Guan Shan.

He kept chasing He Tian, and when he was next to him with a sudden move, he turned around and was skating backwards. He couldn't miss the shock on Tian's face. Now it was his time to flash a cocky smile. He held up his middle finger and left the raven-haired boy.

They skated for a while without talking. Guan Shan tried to throw a snowball into He Tian's face but he was fast, and Guan Shan always missed it, but after a while, he gave up and just enjoyed to being on the ice again.

"You're really good at this," Tian said when Guan Shan stopped in front of him and splashed a good amount of ice on him. Guan Shan struggled his shoulder.

"When did you learn to skate like this?" asked Tian while he lit up a cigarette.

"When I was a child."

"Why did you stopped?"

"It's none of your business!" Guan Shan skated away. His phone rang, the one hour renting was over.

Guan Shan was handing over his skate when He Tian showed up next to him.

"His rental fee is on me," He Tian said to the man.

"What? No! You will fucking not!" Guan Shan already had the money in his hand. Tian wrapped his ice-cold hand around Guan Shan's.

"Keep your money, and promise me you will come skate again."

He couldn't say anything because this was the second time on that day, that he had skin to skin touch with He Tian, and why the hell was he so nice?


	3. Keep you warm

After the ice-skating, the guys were walking home together.

"All my body is hurting so much." Jian Yi was whining all the way to the crossroad where they said their goodbyes.

"Don't worry Jian Yi. I'm sure ZhengXi will kiss it better at home." Tian teased his blonde friend.

"HE TIAN!"

Smiling innocently Tian spread his arms, "What? I heard kisses have magical healing power! Hey, Momo, don't you have a hurting part on your body that I could heal?"

"You can kiss my ass, He Tian!

"Really?"

"Seriously what the fuck is wrong with you? You should see a doctor, you pervert!" Guan Shan pushed He Tian away. "Alright losers, I'm off. Bye!"

Guan Shan didn't even wait for their replies, he turned around and walked away. He wanted to be alone to think. This ice-skating brought back some pleasant and also unpleasant memories.

But his luck betrayed him again when he heard Tian was shouting after him.

"I'll walk you home," Tian offered.

"I can go home by myself!"

"But it's already dark, and we both know you always get into troubles."

Guan Shan just huffed. He was getting into troubles because of He Tian; people didn't like that they were friends or whatever. No, they weren't friends, Guan Shan corrected himself. He just tolerated this arrogant bastard who annoys him since they were 15.

They walked in silence. Guan Shan was lost in his thoughts when He Tian offered a cigarette to him.

"When was the first time you stepped on ice?" he asked, he lit up his own and gave the lighter o Guan Shan.

"When I was four."

"That young?"

"Yeah." Guan blew out the smoke. "There was a similar ice rink in another park. I watched the people and then I said to my mum that I want to try it too. They put blades on my shoes. It wasn't like a normal ice-skate, more like something for little children to practise and each pair had two blades. I doddered on the ice for a while, and I just loved the feeling. I loved that I pushed myself, and I can go fast. After that, I asked my mum over and over again to go to the ice rink. Later I got my own ice-skates, and had a teacher, and started to learn..." Guan Shan went silent. Why the hell he was telling this to He Tian?

"Learning what?"

"Figure skating, " admitted Guan Shan shyly.

"WHAT?"

"Don't you dare to laugh!"

Guan Shan grabbed He Tian's jacket, but the other boy easily took off Guan Shan's hand of him, "I'm not laughing, you idiot! I'm shocked. I always thought that male figure skaters and ballet dancers are soft and graceful. You really aren't like that, more like an angry cat.

"Very funny. Well, people change."

Guan Shan continued walking, but from the corner of his eyes, he kept watching his companion. The first what he noticed was He Tian's red hands. When he threw away the cigarette stub, he saw that all of his fingers were so red. Then, after he grabbed his jacket, he felt the material wasn't too thick. He looked up to his face to see Tian's mouth was shaking and turned into purple from the cold.

Guan Shan suddenly stopped, "Do you actually have a brain in your skull? How can you be this stupid?"

"What? I haven't done anything in the last five minutes. I haven't even spoken! What the fuck, Momo?"

"It's fucking winter, He Tian. Haven't you noticed?" Guan Shan stopped in front of He Tian. "You're so fucking rich, and you walk around like this?"

He Tian looked down on his clothes. What was wrong with that? He bought his black jeans last week in a famous shop and well, his shoes and jacket were from last year, but he liked them.

"I don't understand?"

"Idiot! Fucking idiot!"

Guan Shan took off his scarf and began to roll around on Tian's neck

"Rich boy... Has money even under his skin and can't even buy a damn scarf for himself. Walking around in a jacket in the fucking middle of the winter. Even my underwear is thicker than this shit. Really stylish and fashionable but worth fucking nothing if you freeze. And what are these shoes?"

"I usually go everywhere by car," Tian murmured, embarrassed. This was the first time ever that somebody rebuked him to not wearing the proper clothes. It was totally new to him. A warm feeling washed over him; somebody was caring for him. Suddenly, Tian wasn't cold anymore, and it had nothing to do with the soft scarf around his neck.

"Fucking spoiled brat."

"Why did you stopped the ice skating?"

"Because I had to." Guan Shan was fixing the scarf, making sure He Tian's neck was covered everywhere.

"Why?"

"Oh, for fuck's sake! Stop asking questions, will you?" Guan Shan finished with the scarf, and now he was putting on his own gloves on He Tian's red hands.

"No, I won't!" He Tian flashed his usual cocky smiled. "Tell me, what happened?"

"Life happened, okay? I had to stop. That's it. End of the story. Now let's go."

Guan Shan continued walking again, but He Tian didn't follow immediately. For a moment, he enjoyed the feeling of Guan Shan's scarf. It was soft, smelled just like his little Mo.

"You shouldn't give up on your dreams," he said when he was walking next to Momo again. "Or, well, maybe you're a bit too old to start figure skating again, but it can be your hobby."

"I don't have nor the time neither the money for hobbies, He Tian. Not everybody has stuffed bank accounts, you know, and I don't want to talk about this anymore. So just shut your stupid mouth.

It was surprising but the rest of the walk, He Tian didn't say a single word. In front of his house, Guan Shan looked up the old building. Their windows were black, and he knew the apartment was empty. His mother wasn't even in the town; she was visiting her sick mother. He hated that his home was empty, but it was sure as hell, that he wouldn't invite He Tian in. He had enough of him for one day.

"I heard you promise to the teacher that you will make cookies for the school party. If you want, you can use my kitchen."

"How generous. You just want me to cook for you again."

"Well, I wouldn't mind it. I miss your beef stew."

"Spoiled brat!"

He Tian turned around and continued his walk, "See ya tomorrow, little Mo!"

When Guan Shan was already in the house, noticed that He Tian didn't give back his scarf. Bastard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is almost just dialogues. Sorry about that. :( but I hope you still like it.  
> I think I write the boys too "out of character". Or not? Sure they're more mature and soft. What do you think?  
> Figure skater Guan Shan is my new kink! :D


	4. Making holiday treats

On the day when the party was, Guan Shan woke up early and headed to the market to buy all the necessary ingredients. He sent a text message to He Tian to pick him up. Firstly, he didn't want to take his offer then he remembered Tian's well equipped, big kitchen and couldn't say, no. But he reminded himself that the only reason he accepted it was because working there would be more comfortable. He kept telling himself that he doesn't want to see or talk to He Tian. Who, by the way, hadn't given back his scarf and gloves yet.

It wasn't He Tian who came to him, but his driver. The man said nothing, just picked the bags and put them into the luggage rack. When they arrived the man, still silent, took out the bags and carried them into Tian's apartment. He put them in the kitchen and left.

"Do you disallow your employees to talk? He hasn't said a single word. Fucking creepy."

"We hire people who don't like talking."

Over the years, Guan Shan learnt that not every man works for He Tian's father. He Tian also had a lot of employees, whose job was to protect Tian if it was necessary or follow his orders. Still, Guan Shan didn't want to know anything those things.

Guan Shan went into the bathroom and changed into something more comfortable for cooking. When he went back to the kitchen, Tian was sitting at the table.

"Do you need help?" Tian asked.

"You want to help me? You can't make a difference between a fork and a spoon."

"I can. It's easier to put out somebody's eye with a fork." Tian grinned.

"I'm telling you, man, you have serious problems."

Guan Shan turned his back to He Tian and looked over the ingredients, then he picked up his apron and took a deep breath.

He Tian was silently watching him. As the way Guan Shan took that deep breath and tied the apron around his waist, he looked more like a monk who would do a ritual, and He Tian didn't know that he wasn't too far away from the truth. It was something that he learnt from his mother. Guan Shan calmed down and cleared his mind; he concentrated only the tasks ahead of him. He thought over what he has to do and what order he should do them. When everything was clear, he started to work.

In Guan Shan plans, were some salty snakes, gingerbreads and fruit bread. He chose only foreign foods because he always found it challenging to make them. It was kind of a passion for him, to learn new recipes and try to make them. And well, he liked gingerbreads. It went well with the coffee and tea too, or just eating them while he was doing his homework.

He decided to make the dough of the gingerbread first because it needed to rest for a few hours in the fridge.

"I have things to do," Tian announced after a while, "I'll be back at lunch. Don't burn down my kitchen."

"I'm not you, He Tian."

After the door closed, Guan Shan stopped for a moment. It wasn't the first time he was left alone in the apartment, but he always felt strange there. He Tian's flat didn't look like a home. It was empty, no personal belongings on the shelves or pictures. Every room was like what you see in the magazine. Sure, it was stylish, elegant, but it was cold too, and when Guan Shan looked around, he could understand why Tian doesn't like to spend time there.

After checking the door was closed because with He Tian you never know who tries to come in, he turned on the music on his phone and began to work.

When He Tian opened his door and stepped into, he has to stop for a moment. His usually quiet and odourless flat was filled with soft Christmas music and delicious smell. He had to check the door if it was really his 'home' or he accidentally broke into someone's home, but the number was correct; it was his apartment. He silently walked into the kitchen and watch Momo. He was humming and moving his hips on the rhythms of the song while he was cleaning the counter.

"Something smells really good, " he said.

Guan Shan jumped in surprise.

"Shit! You scared me!"

Tian walked to the salty snacks and tried to snitch one, but Guan Shan hit his hand with the kitchen towel.

"Don't you dare to touch them!"

"Ouch! Come on, Momo, I just want to taste them. Maybe they taste shit."

"Your ass what's shit, not my snacks!"

Tian tried to steal one piece again, but Guan Shan hissed at him.

"You really are an angry cat," Tian laughed. "Stop hissing at me, I bought you lunch."

He Tian dropped the take-away food on the table and walked into the bathroom. When he came back, Guan Shan already set up the table. They ate in silence. Guan Shan almost asked him how was his day, but that would be fucking awkward. After they ate Guan Shan went back to the baking and Tian started to make phone calls in the living-room. Guan Shan didn't listen, once he did, and when Tian said 'Then throw him in the river', he decided that he really shouldn't hear or know things like that.

He checked the fruit bread in the oven. It looked good; the dough began to come up nicely. It was time for the gingerbread. He was spreading flour on the table and began to stretch out the dough when Tian sneaked to him and hugged him from the behind.

"Fuck! Shit!" Guan Shan screamed and scattered the flour on the table. "What the fuck is your problem? Let me go, you chicken dick!"

"Are you sure you don't need help?" Tian whispered into Guan Shan's ear. It could feel Tian's breath, and it made him shiver.

"Fucking let me go, now!"

Of course, He Tian wasn't listening. He looked down on the pile of flour and put his palm in it, and then he put his hand on Guan Shan's chest. He left a big, white floured hand on the black t-shirt.

"Okay, you're dead now!"

Guan Shan turned around and threw a right amount of flour into He Tian's face. They started to fight, throwing flour to each other and try to make the other dirtier. Guan Shan was losing, because of two reasons. One: Tian was taller and stronger than him. Two: Tian was laughing freely. It was a rare, extremely fucking rare that he was laughing like this and Guan Shan forgot to defend himself just stood there mesmerised and watched him. Because of this mistake, he was pushed to the kitchen counter, and he hit his head to the shelf. They pushed the sugar on the shelf what fell on Guan Shan's head.

"Fuck!"

He Tian just laughed harder, "Well, flour and sugar suit you, little Mo."

"Fuck off!" Guan Shan groaned. "Oh shit, the fruit bread!"

He pushed Tian aside and opened the oven. Luckily it didn't burn.

"You wanna help?" Guan Shan asked after he took care of the bread. "Make me a coffee and start to clean up this mess. And don't fucking come close to me or the snacks!"

And this time, He Tian listened a little. He made coffee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update. :(


	5. Mistletoe

Around 3 at the afternoon, Guan Shan packed the cookies and left with He Tian to the school. The teacher's area was already crowded.

When Guan Shan found the dinner table, he began to place the cookies there.

" Hey, He Tian give me a napkin!" he said, but there was no reply. He turned around and saw that He Tian already vanished. Of course, that bastard didn't want to do anything, just walk around like he owns the fucking place. Well, if he isn't there, he couldn't annoy Guan Shan, so that was a good thing.

Guan Shan baked more treats what his teacher asked; the rest will go to a special place. After he was ready, he chatted a little with other student and teachers too.

"Guan Shan, could you please carry these empty boxes to the temporary storage rooms? We don't need them here."

"Of course, Teacher."

Guan Shan picked up the boxes and walked out of the room. He stopped for a moment to admire the decorations. It still looked amazing. His moment was disturbed because a brunch of girls started to laugh and giggle on the corridor. Guan Shan rolled his eyes. He hated that girls just came events like these to flirt with guys. So annoying.

While he was walking, he watched the snow. He hoped they would have more in the next week, that would be so cool. Guan Shan was immediately lost in his thoughts; dreaming about snow-covered little villages and Christmas markets. He didn't watch where he was going. At the next corner, he took a turn and bumped into somebody. The boxes fell off of his hand.

"What the..."

"Fuck..."

"Oh, Momo, it's good to see you again," He Tian grinned.

" Look who decided to show up! He - lazybones - Tian."

"What are you talking about? I was helping to carry the plates and the glasses inside. I was working hard. You know how heavy were those boxes?"

"Poor you," Guan Shan mocked him. "I feel sorry for you. Wait. No."

"My back and arms will be sore tomorrow. Will you give me a massage?"

"Lie down on the street. The local bus will massage your back."

Although Guan Shan was serious, he could see a little smile on Tian's face. He Tian never smile or laugh at public. Never. Some people thought he can' even smile. Somehow Guan Shan felt special because He Tian let down his barrier around him, and sometimes he shows emotions too.

Although Guan Shan was serious, he could see a little smile on Tian's face. He Tian never smile or laugh at public. Never. Some people thought he can't even smile. Somehow Guan Shan felt special because He Tian let down his barriers around him, and sometimes he shows emotions too.

"Oh, Look!" A girl screamed across the corridor. "He Tian is standing under the mistletoe."

"Aww! Redhead guy so lucky," said another girl.

"Aww, I wanna stand under the mistletoe with He Tian too!" Girls were popping out of the nowhere, and suddenly there was a little crowd around them.

Guan Shan looked up in horror. Above He Tian's head, a little mistletoe was hanging.

"KISS!" said somebody.

"WHAT?" Guan Shan shouted and looked at the shining-eyes girls.

"That's the tradition. If you meet with somebody under the mistletoe, you have to kiss them."

"Ladies, come on!" He Tian held up his hands to smooth the situation.

"That's the rule. The only way that you can move again is to kiss or..." said one of the girls.

"That's fucking ridiculous!" Guan Shan cut in.

"...or you will be cursed."

"Kiss, kiss, kiss," they were chanting it. What the fuck is wrong with these girls? Guan Shan felt his heart come up in his throat. Was that actually true? Could be cursed just because he breaks a tradition? Was this apply for Chinese people too? His mother always said that they have to respect every nation every tradition.

This chanting was so fucking irritating.

"Momo, you don't have..." He Tian started, but he couldn't finish. Guan Shan grabbed his t-shirt, pulled him down, and crushed their lips together.

They did this once when Guan Shan was 15. He started crying after that because it was his first kiss and He Tian shocked him. That time he didn't know that boys can kiss boys too, but by now, he learned a lot about homosexuality. He knew some people think it's unnatural and abnormal, but that's not true.

For Guan Shan, this kiss was an act of revenge for that one, two years ago. He acted out of impulse because he wanted to shock He Tian. It seemed like it worked because He Tian froze and couldn't even move. Guan Shan heard a little surprise yelp before their lips touched.

But He Tian's movelessness didn't last long, because he tried to push his tongue between Guan Shan's lips, and that was the moment when Momo realised what he did. He pushed He Tian away.

He didn't want to see the disgust on He Tian's face. He reached up, tore down the mistletoe, and threw to the end of the corridor. He was sure the girls were 'aww' and 'ooh' and giggling all around them, but he couldn't hear anything because his blood was drumming in his ears. He also knew his face was as red as his hair. Guan Shan picked up the boxes and ran away. Maybe Tian was shouting after him, perhaps not. Maybe he just imagined.

He locked himself in the storage room and sank down to the floor. He was shaking, and tears were running down on his face.

What the fuck he had done?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't panic, guys! There won't be angst, but we need a little complication; otherwise, our boys will never figure out their feelings.   
> Oh, and they kissed! 👀


	6. Charity work

Guan Shan needed more than 30 minutes to calm down. That was his stupidest idea ever! After he calmed down, he went back to the party to help his teachers. During the party he managed to avoid He Tian; it wasn't difficult because he didn't even see He Tian during that 3 hours. When the party finished, Guan Shan asked permission to take the leftover foods. He explained to the teacher what was going to do with it, and he got permission.

He was standing in front of the school with all the boxes and bags when He Tian showed up again.

"I give you a lift," he said.

"I don't need," Guan Shan replied shortly.

"You don't need it? So you can carry these bags and boxes on your own?"

"Yes."

"Don't be so fucking stubborn, Momo."

He Tian fished out his phone from his pocket and called his driver. The car arrived immediately, and To the surprise of Guan Shan, the driver greeted them.

"I told you ..."

"Can you shut up? I want to help."

"One condition, " Guan Shan said, and he waited for He Tian to turn to him. "I don't want to talk."

He Tian was watching him with a strange expression on his face, then he nodded, "Fine. No talking."

They put the stuff in the trunk and get in the car. Guan Shan tried to sit as far as was possible from He Tian. The first few minutes spent in silence when Guan Shan realised they were going in the wrong direction.

"Uhm... I'm not going home," Guan Shan said. He Was the driver looked into the rear-view mirror.

"Then where are you going?" He Tian asked curiously.

"To the New Moon Charity Centre," Guan Shan replied and turned to the driver, "Do you know where's it?"

"Yes, Sir," the driver replied then looked in the mirror again, He Tian nodded, and they took a turn at the next crossroad.

After ten minutes drive, they stopped in front of a big white house.

"Guan Shan! You came!" a little old man greeted them. "And you brought a friend too. That's great! We always need strong men."

Both of the boys bow politely, and Guan Shan introduced the old man to He Tian. He was Mr Wong, the leader of the centre. Carrying the boxes, He Tian was silently following Guan Shan and Mr Wong inside. While they were walking He Tian curiously looked around. He had never been a place like this. Usually, the mafia has nothing to do with Charity Centres. They went inside through the back door and after a short walk, they arrived in a big kitchen. He Tian put down the boxes and walked to the wooden swing door what led to the dining area. There were several rows of benches and tables, and the room was full of people who were quietly talking.

"What this Charity Centre does?" He Tian asked Mr Wong.

"Oh, we do a lot of things. For example, if the weather destroyed somebody's home, we gave them temporary accommodations, or we help gather money to rebuild their home. We collect clothes and bedclothes to give those who need them. Many people keep low their heating in winter because they can't pay the electricity bills. That's why warm blankets are always welcome here, no matter how old they're. Excuse me boys, but I need to take care of some things, but I'll be back shortly. Guan Shan, you already know what to do. I can leave you alone, right?"

"Of course, Mr Wong."

He Tian silently watched Guan Shan how he was putting the cakes on big trays.

"How do you know such a place?" he asked.

"They helped a lot to my mother and me when we needed it. Since then, we come here from time to time to return the favour. Usually, we come during the wintertime because that's when there's more work."

Helped? How? He Tian didn't know too much of Guan Shan's past. He knew he lives with his mother, and his father is in prison, but he didn't know why. He didn't bother to find out the reason; he just accepted it. What happened with Guan Shan that they needed help from an organisation like this?

The tension was still stiff between them because of the kiss. He Tian wanted to talk, tell Momo that everything was fine, that he wasn't angry. Moreover, he was quite happy even that ten girls watched their kiss. He Tian thought if they finish early here perhaps he could talk to Momo. So they need warm blankets? Alright. He Tian fished out his phone again and gave short instructions to his driver, then he leaned against the wall and just watched Momo.

By the time Guan Shan finished with the cookies, He Tian's driver had arrived with twenty brand new warm blankets. Mr Wong couldn't thank enough.

"So," He Tian stepped next to Guan Shan, "Can we go now?"

"What?"

"They already have what they needed."

"Do you think charity means you pull out your credit card and buy what's necessary?"

"Yes?"

"You're a top student with good grades. How can you be this stupid?" Guan Shan shook his head. "It's not about the money. Sure everyone needs money but, He Tian, charity is about to help, not about buying. Now, put on that apron and help me to carry out this big pot.

He Tian was confused. He helped. He bought warm blankets for them, wasn't that a help? It will keep them warm during the cold nights. That was a fucking help, what was Guan Shan talking about?

He helped carry out the big pot that was full of hot soup. Outside, many people were waiting in line with little bowls in their hand. He Tian thought they were homeless people, but they didn't look like them. They were well-groomed, they had clean clothes, and there were many children too. He Tian felt even more confused. Who were these people?

Guan Shan began to scoop out the soup into the bowls, and He Tian just stood there, and he suddenly felt so embarrassed. But he didn't have too much time to think about anything or just sort out his feeling because Mr Wong showed up again and said, "I just know a perfect task for a strong young man like you," and he dragged He Tian away. Guan Shan laughed at Tian's confused face; he was sure this was the first time when somebody gave orders to He Tian.

After helping put up and took down some heavy boxes, Mr Wong asked He Tian to help clean the dining room, so now he was wearing a rubber glove and walking around to collect the garbage.

The next time Guan Shan looked up to check how He Tian was doing, he was him sitting on the table and lost in a conversation with a very old man. He could see even from that long distance that Tian's eyes were shining.

It was already late in the evening when people started to go home. He Tian went back to the kitchen and arrived in the perfect moment to catch Guan Shan who was about to faint.

"Little Mo, what's wrong?"

"Spinning."

"What's spinning?"

"Everything."

"Have you eaten anything since lunch?"

Guan Shan shook his head.

"And you call me stupid," Tian said. He helped to Guan Shan to sit down and brought him some cookies and water; then he went to find Mr Wong to say they will leave because Guan Shan doesn't feel well.

Guan Shan ate the cookies, said nothing when He Tian wrapped his arms around his waist and helped him to get in the car. He already felt better when they arrived at his home. He Tian helped him to reach the door.

"Will you be fine on your own?"

"I just need sleep," Guan Shan said, and that was true. It was a tiring day, both emotionally and physically.

He Tian didn't want to let go, Guan Shan, because they still haven't talked about the kiss, but Tian felt tired too.

"Momo?"

"What?"

"Everything is fine, okay?"

"Yeah..."

Guan Shan walked into his home and went straight to bed. Ha was already fast asleep when Tian get into his car.

He Tian sighed, he wanted to talk, but he was damn tired too. And what the hell just happened to him today? Did he work for the first time in his life?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so fucking late with today's chapter. Sorry :(  
> Let me tell you He Tian has zero knowledge about charity work, or work in general, and there are many things that he still doesn't understand. For example, that money isn't everything.


	7. Holiday Movie

Although He Tian said, everything was fine Guan Shan ignored him for 3 days. In the school, he hid during the breaks, and when school was finished, he left as quickly as it was possible. Perhaps in He Tian's point of view, everything was fine, but Guan Shan was suffering from serious aftermath of the kiss. He had some very vivid and disturbing dreams. 

On the third day, He Tian sent him a text message; one single word.

** Chicken dick - 15:15  
** Beef stew

** Me - 15:16   
** Hen soup

** Chicken dick - 15:16  
** What?

** Me - 15:17  
** **** I thought we were sending food names to each other.

** Chicken dick - 15:19  
** **** No. I want to eat beef stew.

** Me - 15:20  
** **** And I want to be rich.

** Chicken dick - 15:20  
** **** Come over and cook for me. 

** Me - 15:21  
** **** Do you even know the word "please"? 

Guan Shan didn't want to go to He Tian's. Would he wish to speak about the kiss? Because it was sure as hell Guan Shan didn't want to talk because he couldn't explain why he did, why he was dreaming about it each night since then and he was so ashamed of the feeling that he wants to do it again. 

** Chicken dick - 15:21  
** **** I told you everything is fine. 

** Chicken dick - 15:22  
** **** Come over.

** Chicken dick - 15:30  
** **** Please. 

Wow, that was something new. He Tian using the p-word.

** Me - 15:35  
** **** You will pay for it. I'm on my way. 

Guan Shan always wondered what kind of power He Tian has that he always convince him to go and cook to him. He wondered if he was doing this for the money. Still, he if it was true he could immediately leave after he finishes the cooking, but usually, he stayed and ate with He Tian, and sometimes they watch a movie together or play video games. Maybe, just maybe he likes that idiot a little bit.

Thirty minutes later, Guan Shan was standing in front of He Tian's door and tried to calm down his racing heart. "Everything is fine," Guan Shan said to himself, "If he mentions the kiss I'll leave. That's it."

Everything was fine, indeed. He Tian was his usual annoying self. He kept bothering Guan Shan while he was cooking. They talked about school too, and after they ate they moved to the living-room to watch a movie.

"Get back to the previous channel," Guan Shan said. He Tian switched back. "Oh, that's a good movie!"

"What's this?"

"The Grinch."

"Huh?"

"You don't know this movie?"

He Tian shook his head, and Guan Shan was shocked. The TV was literally turn on all the time in Tian's apartment, how is that possible he doesn't know this movie? It was always on TV around Christmas. 

"Christmas movie. It's about the real message of Christmas."

He Tian nodded and turned back his attention to the movie. Guan Shan was secretly watching him. Maybe He Tian would understand the meaning of charity after he watches Grinch. 

After 30 minutes of watching, He Tian groaned in frustrate. 

"What kind of idiot name a village Whoville? And the people who live there call themselves Whos? So, basically, the green hairy guy hates Christmas because ten years ago they laughed at him? "

"Yes," Guan Shan replied.

"And he wants to steal all the presents?"

"Yes."

"This is the stupidest fucking thing I've ever seen."

Guan Shan rolled his eyes. 

During the commercial break, He Tian went out to the kitchen for drinks. When he came, he saw Guan Shan was watching a commercial with dreamy eyes; he wasn't even blinking. The advertisement was about Austrian villages in the Alpine.

Guan Shan sighed deeply, "I fucking love those villages. Wish I could see them one day. Bet they look amazing during the Christmas time."

"You just love Christmas, don't you?"

"Yeah..."

The movie continued, but He Tian wasn't paying attention anymore. After a little while, he stood up again and asked Guan Shan if he wants a drink too. Momo said yes, and He Tian brought him a soda drink, but when Guan Shan took a sip, the drink tasted funny. It had a strange bitter aftertaste. He was complaining in his head that He Tian wasn't even capable to wash a glass properly.

They continued watching the movie in silence, but after a while, Guan Shan started to feel sleepy, and it was getting harder to keep his eyes open. Five minutes later, he was already sound asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a bit short chapter. The next one will be longer, I promise.  
> Funny taste drinks? Hm... 🤔
> 
> I wanna say thank you because this story got its 100th Kudos! Thank you so much, guys! This makes me so happy. 😊🥰


	8. Surprise

Guan Shan turned from his side on his stomach and hugged the pillow under his head. It was so soft and smelled fresh. As he was slowly waking up, the memory of the previous night started to coming back. He fell asleep during the movie. This place where he was sleeping felt much bigger than He Tian's couch. Was he sleeping in He Tian's bed? Guan Shan opened his eyes and saw white bedsheets. Fuck, he was really in He Tian's bed. He sat up and got shocked.

Two things were sure. One: He was in a bed. Two: It wasn't Tian's bed. He wasn't even in He Tian's apartment. He was in a cosy bedroom with a king bed, a wardrobe and a nightstand. The walls were wooden, and there was a winter landscape picture on it. Guan Shan got out of the bed and rushed to the window and looked out.

"What? Fuck. Shit. Whaaat?"

Guan Shan saw mountains. Beautiful snow-covered mountains and he saw pine trees. He saw a little village what was also covered in a thick layer of snow; actually, everything was covered in snow. It looked like those Alpine villages what he saw in the TV commercials.

"It's just a dream," he said to himself, "I'm fucking dreaming. I'm still sleeping. Yeah. Sleeping on He Tian's couch..."

He Tian!

Guan Shan heard noises from the other room, and he immediately rushed out to a room what looked like a huge living-room. He Tian was standing near a counter, and he was reading something on his phone. For the noise, he looked up and smiled a little.

"Good morning, Little Mo. Did you sleep well?"

"You! "Guan Shan screamed and ran to He Tian. "Where the fuck are we? What, what's going on?"

He Tian stood up and spread his arms, "Surprise!"

Guan Shan pushed He Tian to the wall, and he was breathing heavily. He was slowly putting together the pieces... They watched a movie, Guan Shan drank, and fell asleep. The drink's taste was odd.

"What the fuck have you put into my drink last night? "he shouted, "Fuck, Was it even last night?"

"It was just a simple sleeping pill, and yes, it was yesterday. You slept only 14 hours."

"Where the fuck are we?"

"We are in Austria."

"WHAT??? Austria?? The country in Europe?"

"Do you know other Austria?"

Guan Shan had enough. He hit He Tian on his stomach. Maybe He Tian wasn't expecting because the first punch was successful but after that Tian grabbed Guan Shan's hand to stop him.

"Hey, calm down! Why are you hitting me?" He Tian asked.

"You fucking drugged me and kidnapped me to another country, and you tell me to calm down. What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"It's a fucking surprise, Guan Shan! You should be happy!"

"You.kidnapped.me. Do you understand?"

Guan Shan continued hitting He Tian. During their fight, they lost the balance and fell on the floor. He Tian was stronger, and he had more skill in fighting so after a few minutes silent battle Guan Shan was laying on his stomach, and He Tian was on the top of him. They both were panting.

"Let me go!" Guan Shan said.

"No."

"What do you want to do to me?" Guan Shan asked. His voice began to fill with fear. "Keep me as you personal slave and order me to cook for you every day and if I make a mistake you will beat me?"

"What the fuck, Momo? Where this weird thought came from? You know me, I'd never hurt you."

"Your whole family is a fucking mafia, and I don't know shit about you! Let me go."

"No."

"You said you'd never hurt me, but you fucking on my back and I can't breathe properly, and it's hurting. Let me go; I want to be alone."

As soon as he felt Tian wasn't on the top of him anymore, he got up and rushed back to the bedroom.

Jesus fucking Christ!

Guan Shan was pacing up and down in the room. He was in Austria. Hundred trillion kilometres from his home. Okay maybe not hundred trillion, but sure it was far away. The first time he was in another country. It was so terrifying and exciting at the same time. He wanted to scream and rush back home. He wanted to kill He Tian. And Why was this view so breathtakingly beautiful? No! Guan Shan pulled back the curtains. He didn't want to see it.

Guan Shan sat down on the bed and just stared the wall. Minutes passed in silence. Guan Shan heard that He Tian was pacing in the other room. What if He Tian leaves him here because he hit him? What was he going to do? How will he go back home?

There was a soft knock on the door, and He Tian entered.

"I'm sorry," He Tian said.

Guan Shan decided not to listen to what Tian wanted to say, but he never heard the other boy apologise. This day was really full of surprises. He Tian sat next to Guan Shan.

"I just wanted to surprise you because you helped a lot to the others. Thought maybe you would like a little holiday."

"Yes, I want to go on holiday, but not like that. You should have asked and not made a choice without me."

"Would you have said yes if I asked?"

"No."

"Then you know why I didn't ask."

Guan Shan shook his head, "You still fucking not understand, do you? You think the only way you can give something that is you buy it, but there are things that you can't buy. Like the intentions, what we do to the others. Even if I say no, the thought, that you considered to take me on a trip like this, would have made me happy. Try to remember this, He Tian, money isn't everything."

"But you always talk about how much money you want."

"Yes, because money is important. I want to live a life when I don't have to count every cent I spend. But let me repeat: Money isn't everything! Do you remember when we were at the charity centre? Do you think your biggest help was the 20 blanket what you bought? No. Do you know what was it?"

He Tian shook his head. He felt embarrassed again because he always thought he knows everything about the world, and it seems, wasn't true.

"The time you spent there," Guan Shan needed to laugh on He Tian's face. "Do you remember that old man, with whom you were talking?"

"Yes, he was telling me stories about the wars where he had fought. He was a funny man."

"I bet, he was. Many of the old people go there just to talk. Sure, one free meal is a big help for them, but that's not what they miss. They're living alone, they have no family to talk, and they go to the Centre's events to have company. You, He Tian, made that old man incredibly happy just to sit there and listen to his stories."

The silence settled on them. He Tian was thinking about what Guan Shan had said. How is that possible, that he understands the world better when it was He Tian who had private tutors when he was a child? Have they ever taught anything useful to him?

"Would you like to see the village?" He Tian asked. Guan Shan didn't reply, just looked at the window. "I'm asking, Momo. Would you like to see the village with me?"

"Are we even allowed to be here?"

"Yes, we came here in a lawful way."

"Really? And they didn't ask anything when you dragged a sleeping person through the airport?"

"We came with my father's private jet."

"Private jet? Why am I not surprised?" Guan Shan rolled his eyes. "I think my clothes aren't warm enough for this weather."

"I packed you everything."

"So, I can add burglary to your criminal list."

"I used your key."

"And stealing too... Wonderful."

"Stop being dramatic," He Tian said and pushed Guan Shan's shoulder playfully. "Shall we go?"

"You shall get the fuck out of here while I change my clothes."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soft boys. I just love them. A little bonding moment between them and many will come. :)   
> Next step: Let's see that village!


	9. Hot chocolate

After Guan Shan was left alone in the room, he lay back on the bed and closed his eyes. This was crazy! He was in Austria, in another country and everything looked like just a postcard. He wanted to be angry at He Tian but he just couldn't. Guan Shan felt a tear ran down on his cheek, and he had to take a few calming breaths. When he calmed down, he opened the suitcase what contained his clothes. He Tian packed everything for him, from the underwear to the scarf, everything was there. He Tian even made sure his mobile fully charged. That was so thoughtful of him. How can he be angry at him after that?

While Guan Shan was dressing up, he looked around in the bedroom. There was another door what led to the bathroom. It also looked cosy. When he was fully dressed up, he also looked around the other room what was a big living-room with a couch, a real fireplace and a little kitchen in one of the corners. He Tian was waiting for him at the entrance.

"Ready, Momo?"

Guan Shan nodded. He Tian opened the door for him, and Guan Shan had to take a deep calming breath before he stepped outside. Guan Shan looked back to their rented room, which was actually a little wooden house. There were several similar houses next to each other. They were on a top of a hill and under their feet there was the village. Small snow-covered houses with Christmas decorations and many-many narrow streets. Guan Shan almost start running down, but he reminded himself that he's nearly an adult now, and he has to behave like one. His mother always told him to behave when they're in another city.

It was a beautiful sunny day. In the sunshine, the snow looked more white, and it was shining like diamonds. They silently walked around in the village. They didn't talk, but Guan Shan had the feeling that He Tian was also mesmerised from the view. They only stopped for a little to eat something then they keep walking around, watched every kiosks and shop, taking pictures until the sun fully went down.

"It's getting cold now the sun has gone down. Would you like to drink hot chocolate there?" He Tian pointed to a little house what was an exact replica of a gingerbread house. Guan Shan nodded, and they walked in. The inside looked like a scene from a fairytale. It was adorable, but Guan Shan doesn't use words like this, so he just took a few pictures. While he went to find seats, He Tian ordered hot chocolate and cakes for them.

"Are you still angry at me?" He Tian asked when he sat next to Guan Shan, who find a couch in the corner.

"A little bit. You can't do things like this, He Tian. What would my mother say when she finds out? And the school? What will I say in school?"

"I told them you wouldn't go to school in the next three days, because you're sick. And I know your mother isn't in town."

Guan Shan wasn't even surprised. Sometimes he felt He Tian has spies everywhere and nobody can take a breath without his knowing. The waitress arrived with their order, and Guan Shan couldn't keep up his calm, I-don't-really-care mask anymore.

"Shit. Is it real?"

The hot chocolate was just like what he always saw on other people's Instagram – whipped cream on the top with marshmallows and the cakes also looked delicious.

"If Jian Yi would see this, he would die."

"Go ahead," He Tian smiled, "take a picture and sent it to him."

And sure enough, Guan Shan just did that.

After a few minutes of silence, He Tian suddenly blurted out, "How did you know about the Charity Centre?"

Guan Shan looked up from his cake.

"I told you they helped us when we needed it."

"But why did you need it?" Guan Shan didn't reply so He Tian added, "If you answer; you can ask questions, and I'll answer them."

"Fine!" Guan Shan took a sip from his chocolate and leaned back, "My father only had one big dream in his life, and it was to open a luxurious restaurant. He loved cooking, and as I recall he wasn't a bad cook, but he had zero sense for business. He thought opening a restaurant is nothing like buying a place, put table and chairs in it and place an open tablet on the door, and that's it. And as soon as you open the door, the money will flow inside. How can somebody this stupid?

"After my grandparent's death, he inherited a lot of money, a big house with land in the countryside. He immediately sold it and bought a premise which was on the ground floor of an elegant apartment block. It was in a perfect location actually, but people weren't coming. There were a few guests every day, but it wasn't enough. It wasn't surprising actually because not a single soul knew in the city that there was a new restaurant. If you don't advertise it, how can you expect that people will find you? But I'm sure I don't have to tell you this, you know how business working."

"Yes, I know. What happened after that? Did he start advertising, or did he close it?"

"Neither! He was too stubborn to admit his failure. But not just the lack of guests was the only problem. He had to form a company because it was necessary to open the restaurant, but he didn't have an accountant or consultant. And the other what my father hadn't thought about is he should pay TAX or VAT. He really believed that he doesn't have to pay for these because his business was barely making money. But if you only sell one bowl of soup in a month, you have to pay after that bowl of soup. So, official bodies were knocking on our doors almost daily because my father was late with the payments. Then he made a huge mistake."

"He asked for money from the wrong person," He Tian said.

"Exactly. I hope it wasn't your father because that would be sucks," Guan Shan laughed awkwardly.

"My father never lend money to anyone. He knows he would never see that money again, and he loves his wealth."

"And doesn't upset him that you spend his money so carefree?"

"It's not my father's money, what I spend, Momo. It's my own. I earned it."

"With what?"

"With my own business, but stop changing the topic and continue your story."

"You said I could ask questions too!

"Yes but you still haven't answered mine."

Guan Shan hit He Tian with one of the pillows.

"Don't start this fight, Little Mo, because we both know you will lose. So, your father asked money from the wrong person. Do you know who was it?"

"No, but if I have known I wouldn't tell you because I know what you are capable. So my father got the money, he paid everything he needed to and promised the man that he will pay back everything, even the interest too. He had one year to collect the money, but he didn't make it. No advertising, no guests, no money. After one year, my father was late again with the taxes, the bills, and the man showed up demanding his money back. My father asked for a respite, and he got it. But then they beat him up. They said they'd capture my mum and do awful things with her."

"Did they?" He Tian asked in fear. He loved Mama Mo so much, he couldn't bear the thought that somebody hurt that lovely woman.

"No! But... They destroyed the restaurant. I was there, because after that treat my mum and I stayed there after school, although we didn't know why it was my father's order. They entered and immediately started breaking everything. My mother put me in the wardrobe and made me stay there, and she ran to call the police. The funny thing was that my mum didn't know where my father got that money. She thought it was from a bank or something. You can imagine what the police officer did when they found out my father was a debtor to the mafia. They just left without saying anything. My mum was furious. In the end, the man forced my father to give him the restaurant, and he said the debt was settled. My father started to drink, the taxes were still unpaid, and the official bodies were knocking on our door daily. One of that occasion my father fought with them, and he was arrested, then sent to jail for 20 years. My mum sold the big house where we lived and kept only to buy that little flat where we live now. She paid the rest to the government, and for that, maybe my father could get out of prison sooner."

"I'm sorry..." He Tian started, but Guan Shan interrupted.

"Don't you fucking dare to say sorry. I don't need anybody's pity."

He Tian understood that now Momo wasn't angry, he was just embarrassed. He still had a lot of question about his past, but he would ask them at another time.

"Your turn then," He Tian said. "Ask. But let me tell you if you ask things that I think it's better if you don't know I won't answer it."

"Okay. What your father exactly doing?"

He Tian laughed, "And your first question is one that I won't answer."

"Fuck you! I don't want you to tell me business details but what the fuck is a mafia leader doing? Is he selling weapons to the terrorist? Or drugs? Or killing politicians? Or what? Is it like what is in the movies?"

"Yeah, it's something similar for the movies."

"Is he wearing a suit and tie all the time? Does he have a tattoo?"

"Why are you so interested in my father? Hm? Daddy issue?"

"Fuck you!" Guan Shan hit He Tian with a pillow again. "Fine, I ask something else. You said you earn your own money. How? What are you doing?"

"Are you really only interested in business? Why don't you ask about my favourite colour or my favourite food?"

"Your favourite colour is black, and your favourite food is my beef stew. Now answer my fucking questions."

He Tian was shocked for a moment because the answers were correct.

"Fine! I have a territory in the city, and I give protection to those who live there, and they pay for it."

"That's it? It could even be a legal business. Some companies are selling alarms and patrolling in the area."

"And they worth nothing!"

"But why did they chose you?"

"They don't really have a choice. If you want to live peacefully, you have to pay, and if you want to start a business, you also have to pay for me. But I don't take all of their money. I know where they work, how much they earn, how much they need to spend every month, and I calculate a fair price for them. And for that price, I keep the area safe, clean; no drugs, no weapons, no stealing."

It didn't sound bad, Guan Shan thought. Of course, he was sure He Tian was doing other stuff when he was threatening people and beat them up, but he really didn't want to know about that.

"Where's your mother?" Guan Shan asked, and the fork fell out of He Tian's hand. Shit. Wrong question.

"She is dead," He Tian replied.

Guan Shan wanted to say sorry or something, but He Tian talked first.

"Are you finished? Let's go because the house is a long walk from here."

Guan Shan didn't argue; he drank the last sip of his hot chocolate what already turned cold and they left. The walk back also spent in silent. Both of them were lost in their thoughts.

In the house, Guan Shan asked, if it's okay if he takes a shower first and Tian just nodded. Standing under the hot water, Guan Shan decided that he would talk to He Tian, apologies for the rude question. He should have known; there's always a reason if somebody doesn't talk about somebody. When he got out of the bathroom, he found He Tian sleeping on the couch. Guan Shan took out one of the blankets and the pillow from the bedroom. He gently lifted He Tian's head up and put the pillow there and then wrapped in the blanket. Guan Shan brushed out a lock of hair from Tian's face; then he went to bed too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. :(  
> Our boys are communicating like adults. Feel like a proud mom! :D


	10. Castle on the hill

Guan Shan woke up of the sound of the flushing toilet. A little after the light from the bathroom made him groan.

"Good morning, little Mo!" He Tian was right next to his bed.

"Did you sleep well?" He Tian asked. Guan Shan only growled as an answer.

"Breakfast?"

Another growl was the answer.

"Coffee?"

Guan Shan lifted his hand up and showed a thumbs up.

"Okay, I check what we can have for breakfast. Try to get out of this zombie mode. It's creepy."

Guan Shan's thumps up turned into the international fuck off signal, but He Tian only laughed and walked out of the room. With great difficulty, Guan Shan got out of the bed and went to the bathroom to do his morning routine. By the time he was finished He Tian had come back and said there was breakfast in the main house, so they should go.

Guan Shan felt terrible that He Tian was paying for everything, but after all, it was his idiot idea to kidnap Guan Shan and take him here.

"What will we do today?" Guan Shan asked while he was eating his intercontinental breakfast. He Tian didn't answered immediately just pull out a leaflet of a castle from his pocket.

"What about we visit this? It's not far away from here, one hour by foot, but we have to go upwards."

"You're the lazy one who goes everywhere by car."

Guan Shan took the leaflet, the description was in Chinese, and from that he found out that the castle was build in the 18th century, there's a museum inside and little Christmas fair near it. After breakfast, they asked where to head for the castle. The road to the castle went through the snow-covered forest, and Guan Shan immediately took out his phone and snapped a few pictures. On the way, they were following a French family, and they talked about how funny they hear the other languages. They wonder if they sounded just this funny for the foreign too?

The castle was more breathtaking in real life than in the picture. Guan Shan was never that excited before; he just wanted to rush inside and explore the whole building.

"I'll go buy tickets for us," He Tian said, but Guan Shan caught his coat and pulled him back and began to drag him to a Chinese tourist group.

"I've read once that European people see all the Chinese people as the same, and they can't even make the difference between Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese. They see everybody the same." They closed up to the group, and Guan Shan continued, "Nobody will count how many people went inside."

"But that's cheating."

Guan Shan laughed out, "Do you really want to give me a lecture about being law-abiding when your father is..." He didn't have to finish the sentence because He Tian understood completely. It was surprising, but they got in without any difficulty. They followed the group and listened to the tour guide. They took silly pictures of each other, and He Tian was smiling more than usual. Still, Guan Shan hadn't forgotten the mistake what he made the previous night. He decided he would apologise after they finished with the castle but outside Guan Shan spotted an ice rink and couldn't stop staring it.

"Would you like to skate again?" He Tian asked when he saw what Guan Shan was watching.

"No."

"Why not? Nobody is here, and I really don't mind it."

The ice-rink was empty. Completely empty and it was so tempting, that Guan Shan could have the whole rink for himself. He could try some movements or maybe jumps.

"I don't want you to pay me everything like if I were your... I don't know...."

"Wife?"

"Fuck you."

"Remember? My money, I spend on it whatever I want to, and I took you here. Just accept it."

"Okay."

Guan Shan's whole face was red, but he went to the house and asked for a skate. They had figure ice-skate, so Guan Shan chose that one. He checked how the sharpness of the blades, then put the ice-skates on and take off his coat.

Firstly he just skated a few round leisure. Meanwhile, He Tian asked if it's possible to have some music, and when the music came in Guan Shan went wild. He was skating fast, tried step movements, and tried a simple jump. He made it all, and he was smiling so freely, that it made He Tian blushed. Momo was beautiful.

Guan Shan tried a few more difficult jumps, he didn't make it all, sometimes he fell on the ground. Those times He Tian was holding the rink's wall so hard that his fingers turned white. When he wasn't worrying about Guan Shan's health, he took pictures and video of him.

"You really talented," He Tian said when Momo stopped in front of him.

"I forgot a lot. I couldn't even make a complex jump."

"You haven't skated in ages. It's still pretty impressive what you can do."

He Tian took the last picture of Guan Shan in ice-skating, the castle was in the background, and they even took a selfie together. Then Guan Shan gave back the ice-skate, He Tian paid the rent fee, and they walked around in the little Christmas fair.

"Here, try this," He Tian gave a paper cup to Guan Shan who curiously sniffed it.

"What's this?"

"Mulled wine. They usually drink this in Christmas fairs. "

Guan Shan took a sip of it. It was hot, rich in taste, sweet and strong, and Guan Shan instantly loved it. He finished his first cup in no time and had his second during their lunch, third after they ate and forth after that, but Guan Shan wasn't drinking alone, He Tian was kept up the pace too.

The hot alcohol made Guan Shan so light, he felt like this would be a perfect timing of apologising. He took a deep breath, turned around where He Tian stood just a moment ago, opened his mouth and he was hit by a snowball.

Guan Shan in complete shock spun around where the snowball was coming from, and he saw He Tian laughing freely with another snowball was already in his hand.

"Don't you dare throw that snowball at me. I'm warning you!" Guan Shan said seriously, but was there ever a moment when He Tian listened to Guan Shan? No.

He Tian threw the snowball.

"You're a dead man, He Tian," he said and attacked He Tian.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to catch up. Will update today again. Sorry for the hiatus, I didn't have time to work ahead, but I'll do everything I can to get back to the daily updates.


	11. Snowball fight

That was a serious snowball fight. The snowballs were flying so fast, and they didn't care if they were hit. They just leaned down to grab another dose of snow and immediately threw it.

Suddenly Guan Shan had a wild idea, and he began to run toward He Tian, hugged his upper body and pushed him in the snow. He Tian was laughing like he never did before and Guan Shan almost forgot his plan. He tried to push the snow into He Tian's face, but He Tian was better in fighting, and the next moment Guan Shan found himself in the snow

"Fighting dirty, Little Mo?" He Tian smirked and pushed snow under Guan Shan clothes.

"Fuck! Cold! Haha! No! Stop. Haha," Guan Shan was screaming and laughing, and he tried to take out the snow and pushed He Tian away.

"Wait! Wait!" Guan Shan screamed, "There's something in your hair!"

He Tian stopped, "What?"

Guan Shan sat up and then threw snow in Tian's hair, and it also went under his clothes.

"Aaah!!! You little cunning fox! You gonna pay for this!"

Guan Shan turned themselves around, and now it was He Tian who lie in the snow and Momo was sitting on his lap.

"Looks like I won!" Guan Shan said proudly. He Tian grabbed his thighs and made a turn.

"I won!" he sat on Guan Shan's lap. Momo wanted to break free, but He Tian grabbed his hand and pushed above his head. He leaned down and looked into Guan Shan's eyes, "Give up."

"Never," Guan Shan smirked.

They were so close; Guan Shan could feel He Tian's breath on his face.

"Tian," Guan Shan whispered. He could saw the confusion in He Tian's eyes as he began to lift his head slowly. When he felt Tian wasn't holding his hand that tightly he suddenly turned themselves around again, he laughed loudly. "So, I won again."

He Tian wasn't a type of man who easily gives up or let anybody to defeat him, so he attacked Guan Shan again, and he was tickling him, putting snow in his clothes until Guan Shan was screaming for mercy.

"You heartless bastard," Gaun Shan playfully hit He Tian, "I'm thirsty again."

"Let's have another mulled wine."

When they stepped to the kiosk with pink cheeks, full soaked and He Tian still had a little snow in his black hair, the woman in the kiosk just smiled.

"This is what you need," she said and put two paper cups on the counter. It wasn't the same mulled wine what they had before. It was something else, also sweet and tasty, but much stronger than the other one. But neither of them asked what was inside, they just drank it and ordered another one.

They had another round, but it wasn't that intense. They just threw snowballs to each other.

The sun started to settle down when He Tian noticed that Guan Shan was shaking.

"Are you cold?"

"Yeah, because you bathed me in the snow, you bastard," Guan Shan threw a little snow at He Tian's face.

"Stay here."

"..."

Guan Shan couldn't even say anything because He Tian just spun around and disappeared in the crowd. He wrapped his hand tightly around his paper cup. It was getting cold now. Guan Shan was still lightheaded from the alcohol maybe a little bit more than before, but it felt good. It was an amazing day, he loved the castle, he ice skated, and it was fantastic, and he defeated He Tian in a snowball fight. (He Tian said they could agree on a tie, but Guan Shan knew he won.)

"I found a ride, let's go," said He Tian when he came, holding two more cups in his hand.

"What ride?"

"This."

He Tian pointed to a sleigh what looks like Santa Claus's. A beautiful brown horse was pulling it; the poor animal had a reindeer antler on its head. Usually, Guan Shan would say he will never sit on something like this with He Tian because usually, couples use this, but he was cold, it was getting dark, and their rent wooden house was far away.

"Only 15 minutes and we will be in the house."

"Okay."

They left on a road where the trees were decorated with millions of little lights. Guan Shan couldn't hold back a sigh.

"It's so damn beautiful."

He Tian didn't react just snuggled closer to Guan Shan.

"He Tian, I'm sorry for that question about your mother."

"You don't have to apologise. You didn't know."

"But I should have known. You've never mentioned her. It was rude of me to ask."

"Listen," He Tian grabbed Guan Shan's hand, "Fuck! You're freezing. Why didn't you told me you were that cold?" He Tian leaned forward to the driver and asked him if he could go a bit faster. "You had to stop ice-skating because your father went to jail?"

"Yes," Guan Shan replied, he noticed, He Tian changed the topic. "We had to sell our house, and although my father is in prison because of his debt, the government still takes away part of my mother's salary. We barely survived the months, so I had to give up on free time activities or sport. I wanted to help, so I took on every work I could do. I knew every little money I earn was a big help to my mum. I'm still doing this."

They sat in silence then Guan Shan continued talking, "You were so annoying in the beginning, but I accepted your offer because I knew, the money I would earn is a free day for my mum. And I like your big kitchen."

"Do you like cooking, just like your father?"

"No! I like cooking, like my mother. My father wanted to cook to make money. When my mother cook, she does it to make others happy."

"I like your cooking."

By the time they've arrived at the house, He Tian was also shaking. Inside it was warm, but not warm enough,

"Take off your wet clothes," He Tian said, "And I light the fireplace."


	12. Making a fire for cuddles

He Tian began to put logs in the fireplace, and Guan Shan went to the bedroom to take off his clothes. The only thing what He Tian didn't pack was another sweatpants. He had clean t-shirts and underwear but not sweatpants. He needed to take off because it was full wet, so Guan Shan decided to stay in a boxer and a T-shirt. He put his wet clothes on the radiator and went back to the living room.

He Tian looked up from the fire making and immediately looked down. Damn! Momo without pants. When he heard the approaching footsteps, he stood up and went to the bedroom to change his wet clothes too. He Tian also realised his mistake about the lack of clothes, and he also decided just to wear a boxer and a shirt. He grabbed the blanket from the bed and went back to Momo.

Guan Shan was sitting close to the fire, his hands were almost in flames, and he was shaking.

"Don't sit too close to the fire," He Tian said and pulled Guan Shan away. He sat behind him, pulled Momo between his legs and wrapped themselves in the blanket.

"Hey, let me go," Guan Shan protest, but then he sighed when he felt He Tian was rubbing his back, "Oh, that's nice. Keep going."

Guan Shan lowered his head on He Tian's chest, and he listened to his steady heartbeat.

"Aren't you cold?" Guan Shan asked.

"Just a bit. You? Feeling better?"

"Yeah... He Tian? Will you be the next mafia leader?"

"You still can't let go of this topic... but no, I won't be. My brother will be, I guess."

"He Cheng? Does he want to be the leader?"

"Honestly, he doesn't really have a choice."

"You always have a choice."

Guan Shan lifted his head up and looked into He Tian's eyes. They were so close their nose almost touched.

"Wanna kiss?" Guan Shan whispered.

"Momo?"

"Because I do."

Guan Shan looked down on Tian's lips and then back to his eyes and closed the gap between them. He Tian froze. Was this a dream? Was he sleeping and dreaming about this again? Guan Shan was kissing him, again. And, shit, he licked his lower lips. He Tian knew he could resist many things, but Guan Shan was one of the few he couldn't. He slipped one of his hands up into Guan Shan's hair pulled him closer and deepened the kiss. He didn't back away when their tongue touched. Momo moaned into his mouth.

When they broke apart for air, He Tian touched their forehead together and was caressing Guan Shan's cheek.

"Why did you kiss me under the mistletoe?" He Tian asked. "You're not a person who obeys to the others."

"I dunno," said Guan Shan honestly, "maybe because of revenge."

"Revenge? For what?"

"First kiss. I wanted to shock you as much you shocked me."

He Tian placed a small kiss on Guan Shan's nose, "Well, your revenge was successful. I was startled. But you didn't like our first kiss?"

"Nah."

"Why?"

"You were rough."

The alcohol made Guan Shan say things what he usually wouldn't, and He Tian found it so adorable and it was getting harder to behave.

"So you don't like roughness," He Tian murmured, "And what about gently touch like this?" He slipped his hand under Guan Shan T-shirt and gently caressed his back. Guan Shan sighed. "And feather-light kisses? Hm?" He Tian started to place small kisses on Guan Shan's neck while he was still smoothing his skin. A shiver ran through on Guan San's body, and when He Tian kissed his ear, he moaned lightly again. He Tian gently held his chin and kissed him again. This time it was slow, gentle, but filled with restrained passion. Guan Shan was also caressing He Tian's chest, and he snuggled close to him. He was shivering too, and it has nothing to do with the cold anymore.

He Tian broke the kiss again because he was too close to losing his temper.

"Let's slow down a little bit, okay? It's your turn to ask.

Guan Shan sighed, "Okay, then... Have-Have you ever had sex?"

He Tian couldn't hold back a chuckle. Of course, Momo would ask something like that.

"Yes," He Tian replied.

"With a girl?"

"Yes."

"Did you like it?"

"It was okay."

Guan Shan seemed not too happy of the answers. He buried his head into He Tian's neck.

Girls " Guan Shan puffed " I don't like them. Always running after you, screaming your name and giggling all the time. So fucking annoying.

"And what do you like, little Mo?"

"Hm... I like when you smile," Guan Shan whispered.

"I don't smile."

"You do, but only when you're with me. It makes me feel special."

Guan Shan kissed He Tian's neck, and with soft and lazy kisses, he was slowly moving up to his ear.

"Tian?" Guan Shan sighed into He Tian's ear.

"Hm?"

"Have sex with me."

He Tian kissed Momo's temple and ran his hand through his hair, "You're drunk, my little Momo. Let's go to sleep, okay?"

Guan Shan didn't protest; he let He Tian pull him up and take to the bedroom. Under the cover, Guan Shan snuggled closed to He Tian.

"You're so fucking tempting, Guan Shan," He Tian whispered into Guan Shan's ears, but he was already fast asleep, "I hope you won't regret this evening."

He Tian kissed Momo's forehead for one last time, wrapped his hand around him and fell asleep too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh.my.goodness.  
> Drunk!Momo is so adorable and greedy. ;) And look at He Tian, a perfect gentleman.  
> Somebody will wake up with a hard-on :D


	13. Walking in the snowing

When Guan Shan woke up in the next morning, he was aware of two things. One: He had a headache. It felt like a little goblin was inside his head with a hammer, and he was hitting Guan Shan's skull. The other thing was that his head was resting on He Tian's chest and they were cuddling. Well, actually He Tian was holding Guan Shan like he was a teddy bear.

Guan Shan carefully got out of the bed - he didn't want to wake He Tian - then he went to the bathroom to wash his face. Memories of the previous nights were coming back, and Guan Shan felt the panic was rising in his chest. He went back to the room, silently picked up his clothes and headed to the living room. He dressed up and went out for a walk.

He needed to think. He needed to clear his head before he faces He Tian.

It was gently snowing outside. Guan Shan took the path of what was leading to the little village. The kiosks were just about to open

He stopped for a moment to take a deep breath.

Okay, let's think about what the fuck just happened yesterday. They went to visit the castle. He ice skated and loved it. They had a silly snowball fight. They got drunk because of the mulled wine, and he kissed He Tian. Fucking kissed He Tian! And what's the worst, he loved it. Was that a bad thing? Guan Shan understood homosexuality. He never thought about his preference in sex because he never had a girl- or a boyfriend. He never was interested in anyone, only He Tian. Was he really interested in him? Was he having feelings for him? How the hell did people know things like this? Was he supposed to feel butterfly in his stomach like in the movies? He didn't feel anything, maybe he was hungry a bit, but there wasn't any butterfly effect.

Guan Shan was worried that maybe he offended He Tian yesterday. He acted stupidly. He was greedy and offered things what he didn't really mean. Well, he liked the kiss, but did he really said he wanted to sex with him? Guan Shan felt his face was burning. What an idiot he was! What did He Tian think about him now? A little alcohol and he turned into a slut... He will apologise for his actions, but the main question was what will happen now?

He liked these three days, it felt like a dream, and they surprisingly get along well, but real life wasn't like that. Could they keep what they build here? Did they build anything at all? And did Guan Shan want this? Relationship? Jesus Christ! What nonsense he was thinking! They just fucking kissed!

Guan Shan kicked the snow frustrated. Not to mention, that He Tian was a part of the mafia and Guan Shan really didn't need that complication in his life, because he was sure that it'd cause problems. But that kiss was good. So good. And surprisingly He Tian was so gentle and carrying, and the kiss was good.

Guan Shan ran his fingers through his hair. Too many fucking questions. He had no idea what should he do.

He stopped at one of the souvenirs shops and watched the show-window. The only thing he was sure about, he wanted to buy something for his mother. Should he buy something for He Tian too? For Christmas? As a thank you for this trip? Guan Shan went inside to look around. Although He Tian paid everything, Guan Shan also had his credit card with his little money on it. He found a nice picture for his mother. But what should he get for He Tian? That bastard has everything. He wanted to buy something that reminds He Tian for these three days. They had fun here, even if Guan Shan acted like a childish idiot, and he wanted He Tian to remember it.

He almost gave up when on the shelf he saw the perfect gift. He asked the shopkeeper to wrap it and put it in a paper bag.

On the way back to the house, Guan Shan bought coffee and breakfast. He was so nervous when he opened the door. He Tian was sitting on the couch, wrapped in the blanket he was starring the fireplace. When Guan Shan opened the door, he looked up. Few moments passed in silence then He Tian spoke first.

"Where have you been?"

His voice was calm, quiet, but Guan Shan could hear the hurt in it.

"Went out for a walk. I brought coffee and breakfast. "

"You didn't have to. We could have breakfast in the main house."

"Yeah, but I wanted to." Guan Shan took off his shoes and coat, left the picture and He Tian's gift near the door and put the breakfast on the table. He sat down next to He Tian.

Guan Shan took a deep breath, "Listen, about last night, I didn't mean to..."

"You don't have to say anything," He Tian interrupted, "You regretted it. I got it. Let's just forget, okay?"

"What? You don't even know what I wanted to say. Don't fucking put words in my mouth!"

He Tian leaned closed to Guan Shan and smirked, "Would you like me to put something else in it?"

"Fuck you!" Guan Shan threw a pillow in He Tian's face, "I wanted to apologise if I offended you yesterday."

"Offend? With what?" He Tian seemed confused.

"With my act."

The silence settled on them. Guan Shan hoped this talking would go much smoother, but he still didn't know what does he wanted. Forget it or repeat it. Everything was a big fucking mess in his head.

"You didn't offend me. I could have stopped you if I wanted, and we were both a little drunk. But, Momo, what do you want now? Do you want us to date?"

"WHAT???"

Guan Shan stood up and started to pacing around in the room. His hands were in his hair, and he was rumbling.

"It's... You know, He Tian... Because... It's just... I'm..."

"Can you finish at least one sentence because I don't understand a single thing what you say."

"I need time" Guan Shan blurted out.

"Okay."

"Okay? That's it? You don't ask me why?"

He Tian smiled, "I know it's not an easy choice to make. It's not like I ask you to come over and cook a beef stew for me, and I think I know what troubles you, so have your time. I'll accept your answer, whatever will be."

Guan Shan sat back on the couch, "But we will still talk, right?"

"Don't worry, little Momo; I'm still going to annoy every day."

"Wonderful," Guan Shan rolled his eyes, but he was happy that he didn't fuck up his friendship with He Tian.

"And to help you a little," He Tian leaned close to Guan Shan's ear and whispered, "I really liked last night. You were so passionate..."

"Can you shut the fuck up?" Guan Shan pushed He Tian away, "I don't want to talk about that!"

"Why? Sex is a natural thing, and we should talk about it."

"Jesus Christ! Shut up! Okay? Just shut up!

"Aww, Momo your face is so red."

"Somebody kill me, please!" Guan Shan buried his face into his hands. "And I was worried about that I offended you. You're a fucking pervert, He Tian."

"But you still like me, right?"

"No, I don't. Here. Eat your breakfast, shut up, and leave me alone."

Guan Shan also started to eat. So he had a few more days to think everything over. He thought maybe everything would be much evident when they go home.

"Do you want to stay one more day?" He Tian asked while he was drinking his coffee.

"No. I mean, I could live the rest of my life here, but I need to go home. I applied for a job, and I'll start the day after tomorrow."

He Tian put the other coffee in front of Guan Shan who suspiciously eyed it for a moment.

"You won't drug me again, will you?"

"No," He Tian laughed.

They had one last walk in the village. It was still snowing, and they took a few more pictures. Guan Shan was happy that He Tian was acting like the same. Meaning: His usual annoying bastard self.

The private jet was much smaller what Guan Shan thought, but it was still cool. But the trip back to China was long, and after the second hour, Guan Shan started to be bored. What did He Tian do during this long trip when he was sleeping?

Guan Shan looked at the direction to He Tian. He was checking something on his phone, and he was reading some documents what one of the staff members gave to him. Was he working? What were those documents about? If they start dating, will he have to be a part of the mafia?

He Tian noticed that Guan Shan was watching him. He looked up, and for a moment, their eyes met. Guan Shan face immediately flushed, and he turned he head toward to the window.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is what you expected? No?  
> Momo is so confused. (But don't worry I've already promised you the happy end)  
> I'm three days late. If one day would be 48 hours still wouldn't be enough for me. Pre-Christmas time is crazy. But I'll try my best to catch up.   
> Thank you for your patience and lovely comments.


	14. Christmas sweater

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Injection use. It's not too graphic, but I thought I'll let you know in case if you're afraid of needles.

Getting back to the grey weekdays after a fantastic trip like that wasn't easy. Not just because of the jet-lag, but Guan Shan missed the snow-covered little village. Time to time he found himself daydreaming about the snow, the castle, the ice-skating and He Tian too.

After they got back, Guan Shan started his work in the store. It was a home decor shop filled with Christmas stuff. His job was putting the goods in the storage and refill the shelves. On the first day when he saw how much product had arrived, he had serious doubt that it won't be sold, but the shop as extraordinarily crowded and busy all the time. Guan Shan spent all his afternoon in the shop and hadn't got too much free time.

He Tian also seemed busy. As soon as the school was over, he hopped in his fancy car and left. They were in a group chat with Jian Yi and ZhengXi, and they sent silly memes to each other, but they hadn't talked in private messages.

Guan Shan wondered why. Was He Tian angry at him, or did he just gave him time to think? Was he just only busy with whatever job he had? Guan Shan would have never thought, but this day had come: He missed He Tian, and this feeling was suck. (and he missed his kisses too, and it was fucking terrifying.)

"Hey, kid!"

His boss' voice brought him back from the daydreaming again.

"The last truck has arrived. Go, help unloaded and put the goods in the storage. When you finished, take out the trash, and you're finished for today."

"Alright, boss!"

Guan Shan liked his boss. He was a middle-aged man, he was polite, never shouted with Guan Shan, he asked never order, and he didn't mind if Guan Shan sat down for a minute. He also said after Guan Shan's work period is over, he can keep the Christmas sweater what was his uniform now. And what was more sympathetic he gave a discount for the workers, and Guan Shan can't wait to take his mother there for shopping.

Guan Shan helped empty the truck and put away the boxes in the storage. He also refilled some of the shelves so they will be full when the shop opens tomorrow. He sorted the trash, separate the paper and the plastic. The shop was on one of the fashion streets, but it was a long, straight shop, and the other end of it finished on another street. That street wasn't fancy at all. Actually, it was dark and dirty, and many pubs' backdoors were open there. The trash bins were there too.

Guan Shan was tearing the paper in smaller pieces when one of the backdoors swung open, and a tall man fell out. The man couldn't stand; he fell ahead and hit his head to the wall. Guan Shan could have turned his back to him, he didn't want to deal with snob drunk idiots, but the man had black hair and when he groaned the voice was too familiar. Guan Shan took a hesitant stepped to the man, and when he turned on his back on the floor, Guan Shan immediately recognised him.

It was He Cheng, Tian's brother.

"What the fuck?"

He never saw He Cheng like this. His mouth was already bleeding and now his forehead too. There were several bruises on his hand, and his clothes were dirty. Moreover, he looked fucking drunk. Guan Shan kneeled next to the man and lightly slapped his face.

"Hey, He Cheng! Hey! Can you hear me?"

Absolutely no reaction from He Cheng. Guan Shan fished out his phone from his pocket and called He Tian.

"Hey, Momo!" Tian picked up immediately, his voice was happy, but Guan Shan knew it was forced.

"Do you know the red tiger bar?"

"Yes."

Guan Shan heard approaching footsteps.

"Come here. Now. Backdoor. Hurry!"

"Whaa..." He Tian couldn't finish, Guan Shan hung up and tried to make He Cheng stand, but it was difficult because the man couldn't even keep his eyes open. Guan Shan began to pull him on the floor toward the shop. He needed to hide him because he was sure there was a fight or something in the bar and people were looking for him.

He Cheng suddenly opened his eyes and grabbed Guan Shan's hand.

"Redhead? Run!"

"It's okay, Tian on his way, don't worry. Work with me, okay? Try to stand up."

"No! Run! Go!"

The bar's door opened again. Five people came out, and Guan Shan had seen criminals in his life, but these men were terrifying. They had no mercy in their eyes. Guan Shan and He Cheng were trapped, the wall was behind them, and the men were blocking the way out. Their only escape is the shop, but there was no way they could get in there.

"Sorry, kid, but you saw too much."

Too much? It was fucking dark, and Guan Shan couldn't even know who they were, why they wanted to beat He Cheng or what was happening. He saw the gun in the man's hand, he wanted to say something, but the next moment somebody knocked the man out with an iron rod.

For a moment, everything froze. Brother Qiu was standing there with the rod. That man could just appear out of the nowhere, and Guan Shan got used to it, but here something was fucking unusual.

Brother Qiu, the serious, cold-blooded Brother Qiu, who always wore black suits or grey clothes, now was wearing a Christmas sweater. A red sweater with a big red-nosed reindeer on it and star snowflakes motive on the sleeves. Guan Shan all he could think was "Seriously what the fucking fuck?"

The stillness didn't take much longer when the others began to attack Brother Qiu, but the next moment He Tian joined the fight too. He knocked out a man and ran to Guan Shan.

"You ok?" He Tian asked.

"Yeah, but your brother isn't."

He Tian pulled his brother up from the ground as if it had no weight, and with the help of Guan Shan, they took him out of the alley. Guan Shan noticed that more people joined the fight, both He Tian's part and the others. They put He Cheng in Tian's car.

"Take them to my apartment," He Tian said to his driver.

"What? I'm not leaving you here," Guan Shan protest.

"I want you to go with my brother. Stay with him and take care of him. You both be safe in my place. I'll go back as soon as possible."

"Tian..."

Something crashed in the alley.

He Tian pushed Guan Shan in the car.

"Go!"

The car immediately started when the door closed. Guan Shan looked back at He Tian who ran back to the alley. This wrong! He had to be there to help him.

"Stop the car! I want to go back and help them."

"No. Mr He's order was clear. I'm taking you to his apartment."

Guan Shan wanted to open the door and jump out, but it was locked.

"Mr Mo, trust Mr He. He is a strong man, a good fighter; he can take care of himself."

"Just like his brother, right?"

He Cheng was half-awake; he leaned toward the driver.

"Fen, give me the box."

Fen? So this was the driver's name. Fen opened the glove compartment and took out of a white box. He Cheng opened the box; there was an ampoule and an injection inside.

"Mr Mo, could you please help Mr He with the injection?"

"Are you fucking crazy? What the fuck is that?"

"He has a drug in his system," Fen explained, "This is how they tried to make him incapacitated. The injection will clear his system."

"Is it legal stuff?"

"It's effective."

It was definitely not what he had asked. In school, they learned how to do things like this, but Guan Shan had never done it. He absorbed the liquid from the ampoule by the injection and looked He Cheng with fear.

"I've never done this before. I'm not sure I can."

"It's not that hard," He Cheng was talking slowly. He needed to focus hard to say the words. He pointed on his bare arm, "Just push here."

Guan Shan did what Cheng said; it was over sooner than he thought. He Cheng put everything back to the box, gave back to Fen and he spent the rest of the travel with closed eyes. Guan Shan was looking out of the window and worried for He Tian.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brother Qiu's sweater: https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/1981/3517/products/080548906788-60-0_x1500.jpg?v=1572038735  
> He Tian is fine.


	15. The past

By the time they had arrived at He Tian's place He Cheng was fully awake. Guan Shan still wanted to go back, and if He Cheng weren't in this bad condition he would have run back without thinking, but the order man forehead was still slightly bleeding.

"Do you need anything, Sir?" Fen asked.

"Guard the building and don't let anyone up except my brother and Qiu."

"Yes, Sir."

They silently walked up to Tian's apartment. He Cheng took off his shoes, and on the way to the bathroom, he grabbed a t-shirt from Tian's wardrobe. Guan Shan took out of the first aid box from the cabinet and went after He Cheng.

"I don't need assistance," He Cheng said, "I can take care of myself."

"You two are so fucking stubborn. Shut up and sit down. I'll clean your wounds."

He Cheng was surprised for a moment; usually, people don't talk like this with him, but then with a little smirk on his face, he sat down at the end of the bed. He began to understand why He Tian likes Guan Shan. Usually, people talk politely with them because of the fear, or because they know they have money. But Guan Shan never was like that. He heard how easily he told He Tian to fuck off, and if he was afraid he never showed it.

"You know, you're stubborn too. I told you to run. Why did you call He Tian?"

"What a stupid question is this? Because you were fucking bleeding and he is your brother!"

Guan Shan was cleaning the wound on Cheng's forehead. He Cheng closed his eyes, not because the process hurt, he just didn't want to make eyes contact with Guan Shan.

"Aren't you worried about He Tian?"

"No. I know his abilities, but I'm surprised he took me out of the alley. I thought he'd take only you away."

"Are you still high from the drugs? What kind of nonsense are you talking about? Do you think He Tian would leave you there just like that?"

"He Tian hates me, Guan Shan."

Guan Shan finished with the wound on He Cheng's forehead. Now it was clean, he stopped the bleeding, and he put a bandage on it. He started to clean the wound on the lips, and while he was working, he was thinking about what He Cheng said. He Tian hated his brother? But why? Was he allowed to ask?

"I thought you two have a good relationship."

"No. We only talk when it's necessary."

"Why?" Guan Shan asked. Maybe the drug was still working in He Cheng's system, that's why he was this talkative. Guan Shan always wanted to learn more about Tian's private life, but he was afraid of asking.

"Has he ever talked about our mother?"

Guan Shan froze in his movement.

"No, not really. He only said she is dead."

The wound on He Cheng's lip wasn't big, it was easier to clean it. After he finished, he placed a chair in front of He Cheng to put his hand on it.

"Our mother was killed when Tian was five..."

Guan Shan's hand stopped in the air.

"...and I think he saw it."

"Jesus fucking Christ."

"I was ten when He Tian was born. He was so tiny and so loud. I remember he was crying when I went into the room, but when I stood next to his bed, he stopped crying. There was a time when our mother asked me to hold him because he couldn't calm him down. It only needed a moment in my arms and Tian was sleeping like and angels. People say if there's a huge age gap between the siblings, they won't get along, but I liked playing with him. I liked teaching him how to walk, speak, or draw. Until our mother died, we had a normal childhood. We played together like any other child in our age, of course, we had more money than the average, but besides that we were ordinary. On that day my mother and He Tian went out for shopping and while mother was in the shop He Tian was sitting on a bench and was playing on mother's phone. In that young age, he could already use the phones. I don't exactly know what happened. He Tian called me on mother's phone; he was crying and said mommy is lying on the ground and he heard bums, and everybody is screaming, and he's scared. I called my father immediately, and they went to pick up Tian."

Guan Shan couldn't concentrate on his task anymore. He sat silently near the bed and listened to He Cheng. At that moment he wished he wouldn't know anything about He Tian's past.

"After that, my father told me he wasn't a simple businessman, and a rival mafia group killed our mother. He made a lot of security rule what of course we both hated. He Tian couldn't really understand what happened. He kept asking where's mommy when she will come home? One day my father ordered the staff to take away everything that belongs to my mother; he even put away all the pictures. He forbid the staff to talk or even mentioned our mother again. It was terrible because He Tian came to me, but I couldn't explain to him what death means. I tried to tell him the angles took her, but he asked "okay, but when will they bring her back?" I was heartbroken. I was confused, angry, betrayed. I wanted to run away, but I didn't want to leave He Tian there. I wanted to take revenge, but I knew I was weak, and I wanted to get back my cheerful little brother. I shouted with him and told him mother would never come back. I think that was the time when he started to hate me because I once said to him we will always be together, but I mistreated him, and I only cared about my education.

"After a few months, He Tian stopped showing any emotions. If he fell, he never cried, if he saw things what made him smile before he just walked away. I was scared that he will end up in the psychiatry, but my father was content with him because He Tian was following orders like a robot. I tried to talk with him again, but it wasn't the same anymore. He started to hate me, and at age ten, he stopped talking to me. We found a dog in the forest. He wanted to keep it, so I let him bring home. It was the first time I saw him showing emotions, and I hope maybe this will break the ice between us, but my father said the dog took away He Tian's attention and ordered me to kill it."

"Did you do it?" Guan Shan asked, but he was already afraid of the answer. Before He Cheng could answer the front door opened and somebody came in. Guan Shan stood up and look around for a weapon, but he heard Tian's voice.

"Momo?"

"Bedroom."

He felt the relief when Tian stepped inside the room.

"Are you alright?" He asked, looking directly into Guan Shan's eyes.

"You should ask your brother; he's the one who's bleeding."

"He's breathing, that's enough."

Guan Shan wanted to say something back, like don't be this arrogant bastard, but his phone started to ring. He looked at the screen, his mother was calling him.

"Excuse me," Guan Shan said and went out of the room.

In the same time, Brother Qiu arrived and walked into the bedroom. He Tian looked at him, and his silly Christmas sweater and he felt the anger rise in his chest.

"It's your job to protect him! Where the fuck have you been? And what the fuck is this sweater?" Tian shouted in his face and wanted to punch him, but Cheng grabbed his hand.

"Don't talk to my partner like this."

He Tian turned to his brother, shocked.

"Pa-Partner? As boyfriend?"

Cheng nodded slowly and waved to Qiu to go outside and closed the door.

"You are gay?"

Cheng nodded again.

"Wonderful!" Tian threw his hands in the air."My brother is gay! Just fucking wonderful! Didn't you think you should tell me this?"

"Listen, Tian; I had a rather tiring day. Thank you for the rescuing, but I really don't want to listen to your homophobe speech. If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all."

"Homophobe speech? You think I'm angry because you're gay?"

"What else would you be angry?" He Cheng was confused.

"I'm angry because you didn't tell me!" He Tian pushed his brother on his chest. "Have you ever thought about share something like this with me? NO! Of course, not! You always keep everything for yourself! You're gay, you already have found someone! If I have..." He Tian was breathing heavily, "You could... If I have known..."

Someone knocked on the door.

"Excuse me," Brother Qiu said, only his head was in the room.

"What the fuck do you want?" Tian shouted at him.

"Guan Shan is crying in the kitchen."

"WHAT?"

He Tian immediately rushed out of the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drama, drama, drama.
> 
> Fun fact:  
> When I was writing this scene:  
> "Our mother was killed when Tian was five..."  
> Guan Shan's hand stopped in the air.  
> "...and I think he saw it."  
> I accidentally typed 'was' instead of 'saw'. What a plot twist it would have been! :D


	16. I won't be home for Christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know in the previous chapter, I write that Guan Shan's mother is visiting her sister, but I needed to change to grandma.

Guan Shan wanted to say something back, like don't be this arrogant bastard, but his phone started to ring. He looked at the screen, his mother was calling him.

"Excuse me," Guan Shan said and went out of the room to the kitchen and picked up his phone.

"Hello, Mom," Guan Shan said, he heard He Tian was shouting in the bedroom. He could be such an asshole sometime.

"Guan Shan, my sweet son. How are you?"

Guan Shan didn't tell his mother their 3 days trip to Austria. Poor woman would have faint immediately.

"I'm fine, mom."

"What's in school?"

"The same. It's boring, hard, boring, boring. Have I mentioned boring?"

"Yes," his mother laughed lightly, "three times. You know, Guan Shan, school is important even if you think it's boring."

"I know, mom, don't worry, I'm joking."

Guan Shan heard the bedroom door closed. He peeked out of the kitchen, and he saw Brother Qiu was standing next to the door. He looked concerned.

"Are you listening to me, Guan Shan?"

"What? I'm sorry, I didn't hear you."

"I asked you if you were really alright? You sound tired. Were you sleeping? Did I wake you?"

"No, mom. I mean, I'm fine. I wasn't sleeping; I just had a tiring day."

"Is that so?"

Guan Shan heard the cupboard open, bag rustling, then sizzle sounds. His mother was cooking. He had to smile; his mother always made phone calls when she was cooking.

"You're cooking," He said out loudly. His mother laughed lightly again. "Anyway, I started to work in the shop; you know the home decor shop. Lots of works but I like it. The boss isn't a fuckin...

"Guan Shan!"

"Sorry, so the boss is okay. Nice man. He asks and not orders. I hope I can keep the job after Christmas too. Oh, and I can't wait to take you there! I found many things what we could buy for home, and also the Christmas decorations are incredible! You will love it, I know and..."

"Momo."

"... and they aren't too expensive, and the boss said I could get a discount...

"Guan Shan."

"... and I already put some money aside for that..."

"I'm not coming home for Christmas!"

"What?"

Guan Shan felt the world stopped moving. He stumbled to the nearest chair and sat down, shocked. His mom won't come for Christmas. He will spend that holiday alone. He will be alone.

"Guan Shan? Are you there?"

"Why? Why aren't you coming home?"

"Listen to me, where are you?"

"At Tian's.

"Great. I want you to stay there, okay?"

"What? Why?"

"I don't want you to be alone, okay? Tian is a good guy. Just stay with him."

If Guan Shan weren't shocked from the news, he would say that He Tian was anything just not a good guy, the youngest son of the mafia leader, a fucking stubborn, pervert, idiot, but Guan Shan couldn't say anything. His mother won't come home. Of course, in China Christmas wasn't a big holiday, many of the people were working on Christmas Eve and the first and the second day. Shops didn't close, but it was their time together. They didn't have too much time to spend together, but during Christmas, they stayed home and cooked together, talked and played games. And now Guan Shan will spend this alone.

"I'm staying here because," his mother continued, but her voice trailed off.

"Because?"

"Because your granny is sick."

"How sick?"

He could hear the deep breathe what is mother took before she answered.

"She is dying. And I'm not sure... " She needed to stop again for a moment. "I don't know how long will she live, so I'm staying with her a little longer."

"Mum... I'll go there. Tomorrow I'll talk to my teachers, they will understand, and I think my boss will too. I can use the money I put aside for Christmas since we won't celebrate anything, and I can find a train..."

"Guan Shan, calm down! You can't come here.

"Why the hell not?"

"Because the roads are closed. We had a lot of snow in the mountains, and the buses won't come up or go down. We are stuck in the villages but don't worry, everything is fine."

Nothing was fine. Her mother wouldn't come home for Christmas. His grandma was dying. He couldn't go there and be with them. He Cheng was almost killed an hour ago. He Tian saw his mother die, and he grew up without her. The whole fucking life was a mess. Nothing was fine.

Guan Shan hard muffled voices and some rustling, then and old, weak woman voice called his name.

"Guan Shan?"

"Granny," he breathed softly.

"I heard you wanted to throw everything and come here. Nice trick to skip school," his granny laughed a little, "I remember I had a classmate whose grandfather died at least the ten-time during a school year. I appreciate your offer, but I'm not a nice sight anymore. Your mother showed me pictures of you and your handsome friend."

"My friend?" Guan Shan asked.

"Yes, that black hair schoolmate, he is really handsome. It's a shame I'm not young anymore. I'd totally catch him."

Guan Shan laughed out loudly, but then he heard his granny was coughing badly and his smile disappeared.

"Granny, I'm sorry," Guan Shan whispered.

"Why are you apologising, sweetheart? It's okay. That's the part of life, and you know that. We born, we live and eventually, we will die. My time has come, but don't be sad. I managed to get old; some people don't get that luxury."

Even if there were several tears in his eyes, Guan Shan needed to laugh. His granny could say things that were wise and funny at the same time. She always said life is like a sandwich; you have to fill it with the best ingredients.

"Guan Shan, promise me that you won't give up on your dreams and live your life that would make me proud and exasperate me, and cook a lot!"

"I will."

"Alright. I'll give this blasted thing back to your mother. Be a good boy."

"Guan Shan?" it was his mother again.

"I want to be with you there. I want to help."

"The only help that you could give me is that you be good, okay? Go to school, study, don't get into trouble. Don't forget to eat and sleep. And stay with He Tian, please, okay? I don't want you to be home alone. Remember, Christmas is a family holiday, but the family isn't always blood."

"Mum, you will come home, right? You aren't saying goodbye, are you? I'm going to see you again, right?"

"Of course, Guan Shan! I'll go home as soon as I sort and settle the things here. Don't worry, my boy. When I am home we will have our Christmas, okay? Even if it will be January."

"Okay."

"Alright. I have to go now. Take care and be a good boy for me, and your granny. I'll call you soon. Bye"

"Bye," Guan Shan whispered.

He didn't want to cry, but he couldn't hold back his tears. Was this the last time he had ever heard his grandma's voice? Would he ever see her again?

He only had his mother and grandmother as his family (he never thought his father about a part of his family. When he will be out of jail Guan Shan would be an adult), and soon his grandma would be gone and then his mother, and he will be all alone. Completely all alone. He wasn't ready to live his life on his own, even if Guan Shan was already self-sufficient and act like an adult, but still, the knowledge that her mother is still alive and he can ask advice and support from her was comforting.

Pictures came into his mind. Mixture of an ugly future that he would live all alone in a rat hole, no family, no friends, nobody and the terrifying past, when he was hiding in a cupboard while god knows who were destroying their restaurant, then when he was alone in their new poor home, his mother was working all the time, and he had to stay home alone, acted like a grown-up person, did his homework alone. He was all alone. Always alone, and he would be alone forever.

Guan Shan was crying so hard he couldn't even breathe properly. He was gasping for air, trying to chase away the negative thoughts, but he was already deep down in his panic. A voice an ugly, malevolent voice kept repeating in his head, "You see, you're chocking, and nobody is coming. You're already alone." He started shaking and he couldn't stop.

"Guan Shan?"

He heard He Tian's scared and worried voice from distant. Then smelled his perfume, manly, expensive, calming. Guan Shan was afraid he could fall apart in any moments just as his life did. Then he felt two strong arms wrapped around his shoulder holding him tightly. So tightly that it almost hurt, but it made the shiver decrease, and it gave him the feeling that this is the only thing keeping him together.

"What happened?" Tian asked but Guan Shan couldn't reply. "I got you. I'm here. Everything's going to be fine. I promise."

Tian was whispering in his ears.

"Momo, try to calm down, okay? Breathe with me. In and out, slowly. I'm here; nobody can hurt you, okay? I protect you and your family too. Everything's going to be fine. Trust me."

It almost worked, but Tian mentioned his family and the panic started again.

"Fuck! Babe, you're scaring me! Please, try to calm down, okay? What happened?"

"Mum," Guan Shan gasped, but he immediately ran out of the air, "Granny," he tried again, but he couldn't continue.

Guan Shan felt Tian loosens his holding and Guan Shan grabbed his shirt and pulled him back, buried his face into his neck.

"I don't - don't want - want to be al - alone," he sobbed.

"You won't! I'm not going anywhere. I'll always be by your side, Guan Shan. I promise."

When Tian loosened on his holding ha was trying to sit down to another chair. It wasn't easy when somebody was holding you like that, but after a few tries, he managed to sit down, and he pulled Guan Shan on his lap. He hugged him, caressed his back under his t-shirt, and he was talking to him softly, promising him he will do everything he can to fix whatever was the problem.

Tian never saw Guan Shan like this. He saw him crying once when they were 15, and he kissed him. At that time, Guan Shan started to cry, but he was angry and shocked. But now, he was terrified, he was panicking, and it made He Tian scared.

When Guan Shan's heavy sobbing was slowly becoming silent crying, he tried to speak with him again.

"Can you tell me what happened?"

"My granny is sick," Guan Shan whispered.

"What does she need? Medicines? Doctor? I pay for everything," He Tian offered immediately.

Guan Shan still crying but smiled weakly, what Tian couldn't see because his face was still buried in Tian's neck.

"You can buy many things with money, He Tian, but you can't buy time."

Guan Shan felt, Tian moved his hands under his waist, pulled him closer, then Tian stood up and carried him into the dark bedroom, and they lied down on the bed. Guan Shan knew, tomorrow he would be embarrassed about this and the way he acted, but at that moment it felt so damn good to be in Tian's arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Accidentally nickname saying. Yeah, He Tian we know, Guan Shan is your babe. ;)


	17. Christmas traditions

The bedroom was dark, and the only lights were coming from outside. The apartment was silent; the only sound was Guan Shan's muffled crying, he wondered when did He Cheng and Brother Qiu leave.

Guan Shan didn't know how long they had been lying in Tian's bed. Guan Shan's hands were between them, and he could feel He Tian's steady, strong heartbeats. Their legs were tangled, Tian's arm, what was under his head, was playing with Guan Shan's hair, the other one was caressing his back and upper arm. Sometimes Tian placed a soft peck on his forehead or temple, and he was still whispering sweet nothings into his ears.

Guan Shan had never seen He Tian being this soft and carrying. It felt so good to being held like this, and he never thought he would like it.

"Are you sure I can't help? I know good doctors too, and no matter how expensive the treatments, I'd pay it, and I won't ask anything in return."

Guan Shan pushed his lips to Tian's neck. It wasn't a kiss or a peck; it was just a little skin to skin contact.

"I appreciate your offer, but I told you. You can't buy time. She's old, that's why she's sick. She will die no matter what medicines she would get, and she made peace with it."

"But you haven't."

"No, not yet. She is a real joy in our life. No matter how hard was our life, how desperate we were, one phone call was enough, and she cheered us up. My mum says I'm like her.

"Oh, so she is an angry chilli pepper too?" Tian teased.

"Idiot. She saw a picture of you, and she thinks you're handsome. She said if she would be younger, she would totally catch you."

He Tian laughed loudly. His chest was shaking under Guan Shan's hand.

"She seems like a cool person. Shame that I'm not into nice, old ladies. Where's your mother?"

"She is with her, that's why she won't come home for Christmas."

A new dear drop rolled down on Guan Shan's cheek.

"Okay, If I can't buy medicine or call a doctor. How about I take you there? I pay for your train tickets."

"I can't go. They're in the mountains, and the roads are closed because of the heavy snowing."

"I can borrow my father's private jet."

"Stop, okay? My mum doesn't know anything about your family. She thinks you're just an ordinary annoying kid from school. If I arrive with a private jet, she would ask questions."

He was pleased about Tian's offers, he was really, but in that situation, Tian couldn't do anything. Well, that cuddling was certainly helping, but there was no way Guan Shan would tell him that. The tears were still slowly gathering in his eyes.

"I know, I'm pathetic," Guan Shan whispered, "Crying like a toddler just because my grandma who's super old and will die one day, and my mum can't come home for Christmas. Pathetic. But suddenly I realised one day my mother will die too, and I'll be completely alone, and I think I'm not ready yet to live my life without her. And I'm telling this somebody who had to grow up without a mother. I'm sorry."

"You aren't pathetic, Guan Shan. We have a different life. Just because I grew up without a mother doesn't mean you can't tell me your fears about losing yours. And crying because you just have found out, you'll lose your grandma is also okay. Don't apologise.

"It's scary."

"I know. Losing somebody who dear for us is never easy, and the future can be terrifying too. But you aren't a lost soul, Momo. You're strong, brave and persistent, and you will always find the was to survive."

"Not that. It's scary that you're acting like a normal human being and haven't said any pervert comments in the last fifteen minutes."

Tian leaned to Guan Shan's ear and licked it.

"Would you feel better if I tell you how much I want to kiss you right now and the things I'd do with you? Make you moan like..."

"Shut up!" Guan Shan hit Tian's chest. "Fucking pervert idiot!"

"You asked for it, little Mo," He Tian laughed.

"I didn't! I just noted that you could behave.

He Tian rolled on his back and pulled Guan Shan on the top of him. He wrapped his hands tightly around Guan Shan's waist.

"I want you to stay here," Tian said.

For a moment, Guan Shan was petrified. Staying where? On top of him? In his bed? In his life?

"I said, I'd ask, and not make any decision about you without your opinion, but not this time. I know you'd say no, so I'm not asking. I want you to stay here until your mother comes home. We can have Christmas here if you want."

"Really?"

"Yeah. You said you two have your own traditions. What are those?"

Guan Shan was resting his head on Tian's chest. His heart was still beating steadily and strongly. He felt Tian was gently caressing his back, drawing circles, triangles and other formations on his skin. It was nice. Tian was warm, soft and smelled good. Guan Shan sighed contently.

"Nothing special, actually. We clean the flat then we decorate it. We also set up a little tree, and then we cook together. Usually, I made my mother's favourite food, and she made mine. We listen to music, sometimes my mother dance and sing. She has a nice voice. We created our own tradition; we called it 'truths from the bowl'.

"And what's that?" Tian moved his other hand into Guan Shan's hair and started to play with it.

"You know, during the year we don't have too much time to sit down and talk. We often eat separate and sometimes I only see her in the morning before I leave for school. We both work hard to live. That's why Christmas is important to me. During Christmas, my mother takes a few days off and stays home, and while we eat our Christmas dinner, we 'play' this game. On the table, there's a bowl filled with little papers. Each paper has a question or a task on it, and while you're eating, you have to pull one and answer it. The questions are like: 'Tell what you regret in this year, or tell when you lied and why you did that, and also apologies. Or what's your worst and the sweetest memory of this year? Or tell what you're grateful, what did you planed and didn't work out, what would you change, or what're your plans for the next year'. Things like that."

"That's a hard game to play if you're brutally honest."

Guan Shan laughed lightly, "Yeah, and we play it like that. Sometimes I made my mother cry. But we also use Christmas to apologise, forgive and start over. Do you have Christmas traditions in your family?"

Tian bitterly laughed, "If killing people means a tradition then yes we have, but we don't have anything like this. We're just really good at not talking to each other, and actually, I don't like Christmas."

"What?" Guan Shan lifted up his head. For the sudden move, He Tian moaned a little. It was the moment when he fully realised how close they were, and he was actually lying on Tian, and their private parts were too fucking closed. He slowly slipped off of Tian; he didn't want to look like he was running away and lay next to him.

"But you just said we can have Christmas and now you're telling me you don't even like this holiday? Then why did you took me to the village what exactly looked like a scene from a Christmas movie."

"Christmas equals happy family. I don't have a happy family or a family at all."

Guan Shan didn't reply. He Tian had a family; he had his brother and his father too. Okay, he didn't like his father and his relationship with his brother was more than complicated, but it wasn't true he didn't have a family. Guan Shan had the feeling if he just locks Tian and Cheng up in a room, without any weapons, of course, and force them to talk they would sort out their problems. Maybe Christmas would be a good opportunity for this. Yes, this could be his Christmas mission. Make He Tian likes this holiday and fix his relationship with Cheng.

Tiredness suddenly hit him, and Guan Shan couldn't keep his eyes open anymore. Tian put the blanket on them and hugged Guan Shan.

"I meant what I said, lil'Mo," Tian whispered.

"Which part?"

"I'll always be by your side. Always. I even if you send me away. If that would happen, I'll hide in the dark, support you from there, and if you ever need me again, I will step out and be there for you.

"You're mushy," Guan Shan mumbled, he was already half asleep. With closed eyes, he found Tian's hand under the cover and interlock their pinkie fingers, "Pinky promise?"

"What the hell is that?" He Tian asked, but he didn't get the answer. Momo fell asleep.

With his free hand, he took his mobile out of his pocket and searched what pinky promise means.

According to some websites, a pinky promise means: _The most sacred, serious, vowel anyone can ever swear to. If broken, you must suffer some serious consequences. These promises come straight from the heart and are sworn to value._

He Tian put his mobile on the nightstand, snuggled closer to Guan Shan and tightened their pinkie fingers.

He placed a soft kiss on Guan Shan's lips and whispered, "Yes, Momo. Pinky promise."


	18. You will love Christmas, I swear

When Guan Shan woke up in the next morning, he was alone, and he was grateful for that. He wasn't sure if he can look into He Tian's eyes. He went out to the kitchen and found a note and a key on the table

_This is my spare key. Use it while you stay here._  
_Have a nice day, Momo._  
_HT_

Guan Shan eyed the key for a moment, and then he made coffee and breakfast for himself. After he ate, he took a shower and went to school. He left the key on the table.

The school was just the same as every other day. He saw Tian once from distant, but they didn't talk. After school, Guan Shan went to work, and for once, he was glad that many boxes needed to be open and store. Sorting the goods helped him to think and sort out his feelings and thoughts.

His mother asked him to stay with He Tian and also that bastard wanted him to live there until his mother come home, but Guan Shan thought it wasn't a good idea. 

Plenty of arguments were against it. For example, He Tian was annoying and dangerous. There was only one bed. ONE! Who will sleep in that bed? Or will they sleep together? Like yesterday? Will Tian try to make a move? What if yes? Will Guan Shan let it? What if no? And if no, why did it make prickle his chest? Too many fucking questions and no matter how many boxes Guan Shan put on the shelves, he couldn't find the answer for them.

After his work, he decided to go home and not to Tian. Their home was dark and empty, Guan Shan immediately had a bad feeling, but he lit up some candles and began to cleaning. It wasn't messy, but he needed to do something. He cleaned his room and put away his books and threw out things that he won't need anymore. After that, he cleaned the kitchen, and then he went to search for a picture of his mother and grandma. He found their best picture together. It was taken a few years ago when Guan Shan spent two months with hard working so they could spend ten days there. They had a great time there. 

Before he would get lost in his thoughts, somebody knocked on the door.

"Need a hand for the packing?" He Tian grinned at him from the doorstep.

"I'm not coming."

"Why? Did I offend you yesterday?"

"No, I just want to be alone."

"You don't like to be alone."

"I told you, I need time to think."

"So what? Can't you think on my couch? Or," He Tian leaned closer to Guan Shan, "are you afraid that you will fall in love with me?"

"What kind of fucking nonsense are you talking about?"

Guan Shan tried to slap the door in He Tian's face, but the black-haired guy was stronger and faster again. 

"Seriously, Momo, what's wrong? I asked you to stay with me, not your hand in marriage."

"Shut up, will ya?"

Guan Shan spun around and walked away. Not too surprisingly He Tian followed him. The empty flat even made He Tian sad, no way he'd leave Momo here.

"Guan Shan, it's a friendly offer, okay? Nothing more. I understand you need time, and I accept it. I'll sleep on the couch and you in the bed, or vice versa. You don't have to talk to me if you don't want, and I won't force anything on you. I just don't want you to be alone. That's it."

"Can you stop it? It's still fucking creepy when you are acting normal. I'll go pack my things."

Guan Shan started to put some clothes in a bag, then his school supplies. He was nervous. It's going to be so different and strange and hard, he was sure about that. But he was a bit excited to because he'd see how He Tian live and maybe he could make his decision.

When he went out to the living room, he found He Tian watching the picture of his mother and grandma. 

"Is it her?" He Tian asked.

"Yes. It was taken a few years ago."

"You look like her. Same nose, same smile. And I see the red is a family trait."

Guan Shan wondered if He Tian had a photo of his mother or did he remember of her?

"Are you ready?" Tian asked again, and when Guan Shan nodded, he blew the candles. "Would you like to stop at the Temple for praying?"

"Don't you mind it?"

"No. Let's go."

Guan Shan walked around one last time in the apartment and checked if every window were closed, every electric device was turned off. The apartment was half clean, but he could come back one afternoon to finish it and then his mother will arrive in a clean home. They stopped at the Temple, and for Guan Shan's surprise He Tian came in too, and he also lit up a candle and kneeled down for a pray. It was still strange that this guy can behave. 

The first few days were spent in tension. Guan Shan was expecting that He Tian would make something, but he kept his promised and respected Guan Shan's decision. Tian slept on the couch, Guan Shan in the bedroom. In the morning they went to school together, they spent the day with their friends (in He Tian's case surrounded by giggling girls), in every second afternoon Momo went to work in the shop. As for He Tian, his life was pretty normal. Sometimes he stayed at school to play basketball, or went to the library (YES, the library, Guan Shan checked twice because he couldn't believe in his eyes), or stayed home to study (it was also something new for Guan Shan), but, of course, sometimes he disappeared for business. 

Their days spent in peace and after a while, Guan Shan loosened up. In the evenings, they watched movies together; they talked or wrote their homework together. He Tian was still annoying, and Guan Shan called him a bastard and chickendick minimum nine times during one evening, but it felt natural.

Guan Shan's grandmother had good and bad days. His mother called him almost every day. They both were happy when they heard Guan Shan was staying with He Tian and they get along well. Guan Shan's grandmother even spoke with He Tian once, and thank him for taking care of his sweet little grandson. After that He Tian teased Guan Shan all evening and called him sweet chilli.

Now that everything settled down a little, Guan Shan started his mission.

Operation number one: Make He Tian likes Christmas.

He started slow. Firstly he made watch Tian more Christmas movies, and sometimes he turned on some Christmas music too. Then he bought a little snowman figure in the shop and placed in the living room. Tian said nothing. He set a little Santa Claus in the kitchen, still no reaction from Tian. When Guan Shan put a front door decoration on the door, he was eyeing it for a moment.

"This is nice," Tian said, and Guan Shan hid his grin in his scarf. 

Guan Shan made a plan what decorations to get in the shop where he worked and planned out how to decorate He Tian's apartment. He won't tell him; he wanted He Tian to get home and see it, so he cannot protest.

"What's your plans for today?" Guan Shan asked during breakfast. He hoped he didn't sound too predictable.

"I have to take care of some things. I think I will come home late. Why?"

"Nothing," Guan Shan said, hiding his face in his coffee mug.

"Are you working today?"

"I don't know yet. Maybe I have to. Boss will text me during the day if he needs me."

Luckily Tian didn't ask anything else. They went to school, but Guan Shan didn't pay too much attention to the lessons, he was way more excited. After school, he went to the shop where all the decorations were packed up. It wasn't easy to carry them ~~home~~ Tian's place, but he managed it. 

Then Guan Shan put on some Christmas music and began to decorate. He put garlands over the living-room and the kitchen, lights on the bookshelves and the windows. Placed decoration on the doors, and left little snowmen, Santa Clauses, reindeers almost everywhere. He also bought Christmas pillows and blankets and a nice, white, fluffy rug in the corner. He planned to place the Christmas tree there, but he wanted to buy that together with He Tian.

He was putting away the empty boxes when He Tian had arrived home. Guan Shan felt his heart was beating in his throat.

"Momo? Are you here?" 

He Tian was walking in the apartment but with every stepped he slowed down. His mouth was fully open when he stepped in the living-room.

"What the fuck?"

Guan Shan stood sheepishly next to the couch and waited.

"What the fuck happened to my apartment? Care to explain what the fuck is this?"

"Christmas?" Guan Shan said, shyly. 

"Christmas? This looks like you had blown up Santa Claus in the middle of the room!"

Guan Shan sighted. Okay, there was a chance that He Tian wouldn't like the decoration.

"I get it. You don't like it. I'm going to take it off tomorrow."

Guan Shan tried to escape to the kitchen so that Tian wouldn't see his disappointment, but a strong arm caught him from behind.

"Wait. Sorry. I had a bad day." Tian was whispering to Guan Shan's nape.

"You don't have to do this. I won't cry if you don't like it. And I know I should have asked you, after all, I'm just a guest here."

"I didn't say I don't like it. It's just new. Don't take it off, okay?"

Tian slowly walked around his new home. He never called this place home. The first time he thought about like this was when Guan Shan was baking gingerbread in his kitchen. But since Guan Shan was living here, he began to like this place. The decorations were a bit too much, but it made the apartment homely. 

"A bit too much for my taste, but I think I like it."

Guan Shan smiled shyly. 

"Would you like to watch a movie after I take a shower?"

"Yeah."

"Great!"

He Tian put his phone on the table and went to the bedroom. 

Well, it didn't exactly go how Guan Shan planned, but Tian didn't burn it down immediately, so it was a little win. He looked down on Tian's phone. He peered into the bedroom, and he saw the bathroom door closed. He waited for the water running then picked up He Tian's phone and copied Cheng's number into his. 

He Tian came out of the bedroom, wearing only a T-shirt and underwear. He sat close (really close) to Guan Shan and covered themselves with one of the new Christmas blankets.

"Where did you get all this stuff?"

"From the shop where I work."

"You bought them?" Tian asked, surprised.

"Yes."

"I'll pay you back!" said Tian immediately, and Guan Shan wanted to argue, but the look that he got made he think otherwise. 

They went through all the channels but hadn't found anything interesting, so they ended up watching a cartoon about Rudolf the red-nosed reindeer.

"Poor, Rudolf," Guan Shan whispered. He was tired of the decorations, and his head was resting on Tian's shoulder.

"Yeah... Do we have Rudolf somewhere in the apartment?"

"He's in the kitchen."

Tian asked something else, but Guan Shan had already fallen asleep. It looked like this would be their habit. Guan Shan fell asleep and Tian spending hours to watching and admire him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I'm so glad you like soft He Tian! \\(^_^)/  
> They're literally living together, and it surprised me how well behave He Tian is... That boy is in love, I'm telling you. :D And poor Momo doesn't know what to do with a normal He Tian.


	19. Buying and decorating the Christmas tree

In the next few days, Guan Shan noticed that He Tian moved some of the Christmas decorations. He didn't put them away; he just placed them in another place. He explained the light was reflecting on them, and it disturbed him during TV watching, or he just thought the shelf was too full. But still, He Tian liked the decorations, so Guan Shan thought operation number one was almost done, all was missing is the Christmas tree.

"Are you free tomorrow after school?" Guan Shan asked during breakfast. It was a bit strange how domestic they got. They had breakfast almost every day, and they went to school together. Firstly Guan Shan didn't want to go with Tian because of the unwanted questions, but after a few days, the students get used to the sight of them.

They had dinner together almost every night, and then they watched a movie. Sometimes they argue, but surprisingly He Tian learnt to say sorry.

"Yeah, why?"

"I thought maybe we could go and get a tree."

"Isn't this decoration enough? You want a tree too?"

"It's essential for the full Christmas."

"Okay," Tian smirked, "I finish at three. We'll meet at the entrance."

After school, Guan Shan was waiting for He Tian, and when he saw the other guy coming, he prepared his shoulder for the usual He Tian's type of grab-wrapping-hugging greeting. Tian was followed by five girls who were giggling and asking silly questions. He was waiting for the greetings, but it never came. Tian just walked up to him and looked him with an emotionless and serious face.

"Are you ready?" Tian asked, and for a moment, Guan Shan didn't even remember what should he be ready, but after a moment of pause, he nodded, and began to walk. He heard Tian said a lazy, cocky goodbye to the girls and closed up.

In one hand, Guan Shan was happy that He Tian respects his ask and gave him time and didn't try anything, but on the other, he was desperate for just one little action. Anything would be fine. Anything - an accidental touch or a hug. But Tian kept his distance, and Guan Shan began to worry that something went wrong. What if Tian got tired of waiting for Guan Shan? What if he already found somebody else?

"Where's your car parked?" Guan Shan asked because the silence was unbearable. Something was different, odd may be wrong, he couldn't put it in words, but something bothered Tian so much.

"I thought we could walk."

"Walk?"

"Yeah. Is it something wrong?"

"No," Guan Shan replied, still surprised, "walking is fine."

So, they walked toward the city centre, in silent. Guan Shan was watching He Tian, who was chewing his own lips. It wasn't his habit, and he had never done that before, so now Guan Shan knew something was wrong.

"Cheng is gay," Tian suddenly blurted out, angrily.

Guan Shan stopped and looked at him. What was this tone?

"Is it bothering you?" Guan Shan asked shyly. Maybe Tian didn't find another, and he just realised he doesn't want to be with a guy. After all, he had experience with girls, so it could be that he chose that.

"Why would that bother me?"

"Because you're upset." Guan Shan raised an eyebrow.

"And? I'm not a homophobe. Don't give me that look, Guan Shan. Do you think I would have kissed me if I was homophobe?"

"Can you not fucking shouting this on the street?"

Guan Shan looked around, worried. Not everybody was tolerant of gays, and he really didn't want to spend his afternoon with fighting. Luckily no one was near. Guan Shan began to walk again.

"So, Cheng is gay. If it's not bothering you, then why are you upset?"

"Because he didn't tell me!"

Guan Shan chuckled.

"Well, have you told him that you kissed me?"

"No."

"Then why did you expect him to tell you something like this?"

"Because..." Tian stopped, and turned to Guan Shan, "Wait a second! You kissed me, not I, you!"

Guan Shan looked away. Does it matter who kissed who? Is it important who started? Who leaned forward first?

"Whatever! So you're upset because your brother didn't tell you something, but you also didn't tell him things about yourself. There's no fucking logic in it, He Tian!"

"We had a good friendship when I was younger," Tian said and started to walk again, "we played and learned together, and we talked a lot. If we heard a secret, we couldn't wait to tell the other. Then things changed, and he stopped telling me things. He was always too busy to sit down and talked to his little brother anymore."

"Did you ask why did he change?"

"Of course! I'm not an idiot!"

Guan Shan laughed, "You're an idiot, He Tian! By the way, we're here."

Tian looked up; they were in front of Guan Shan's workplace. Tian remembered that Guan Shan said his boss gave a discount to the employees. Tian smirked and grabbed Guan Shan's shoulder. Guan Shan froze because of the sudden mood change and the unexpected touch. Fuck, he missed this. He fucking missed the clingy, flirting, annoying He Tian. His perfume was strong, expensive, manly and too sexy to bear without blushing.

"So, how big do you want? I like big things" Tian said, flirting. Guan Shan could feel Tian's breath on his face.

An old lady was just coming out of the shop when Tian asked the question and poor woman looked at them horrified then ran away, murmuring something about abnormality.

Guan Shan took it back; he didn't miss this. But then Tian squeezed his shoulder and literally purred into his ears.

"Come on, Momo, let's find a tree for us."

Guan Shan didn't know what to think about this mood swing. Did he say something? Did Tian feel better just to say out loud what was bothering him? Did Guan Shan made him feel better, or was this just a camouflage?

He Tian didn't joke when he said he wanted a big tree. He chose a two metres tall tree and made Guan Shan choose decorations for it. By the time they finished the shopping, Tian's driver was waiting for them in front of the shop.

Guan Shan thought Tian's driver had only one facial expression, but when they walked out of the shop, the man gave them a sceptical look but said nothing just put the packages in the car.

At Tian's home, Guan Shan started to unwrap everything. Tian was too silent, and that strange atmosphere came back. Tian was lost in his thoughts again, and he seemed upset. Guan Shan was thinking how will he make less problem if he talks with Tian or just let him be alone.

He Tian disappeared in the kitchen and came back five minutes later with a freshly made cup of coffee. He sat down on the couch next to Guan Shan.

"I made you coffee."

Guan Shan was surprised; it was rare if Tian did something like this. When he thanked and took the coffee, their fingers touched, and Guan Shan felt he blushed.

"I was five when my mother died, "Tian said suddenly. He looked into nothing while he was talking. "She was shot on the street when we were shopping. I was sitting on a bench, playing on his phone, she was in the shop. She promised me we would eat sweets after that. I heard a loud bang, and when I looked up, I saw my mother fainting. People started to scream, and I hid in the bush and called my brother."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"I don't know. I thought you should know."

Guan Shan took the coffee mug on the table, moved closer to Tian and held his hand.

"I'm terribly sorry for what happened to your mother, Tian."

"Everything changed after that. I changed. My brother changed. The whole fucking world changed. Cheng is gay, and he already found somebody, and he didn't even tell me!"

Tian was jumping from one topic to another.

"What? Cheng is dating with somebody?"

"Yes, with Qiu."

"What the fuck?"

Okay, maybe this wasn't the proper reaction, but Guan Shan mind started to racing and creating millions of questions. Like was this allowed? The son of the mafia leader could have a relationship with another man, who was also his employee. Do they live together? Does anybody know it? How they live together? How the fuck they got together? If he wants to be with Tian, should he join the mafia business too? Should he do what they're doing? Or can he stay out of business and be together with Tian?

Guan Shan looked at Tian; he could see that he was thinking about something that made him upset again.

"Help me decorate the tree, okay?" Guan Shan said. Perhaps a little work would distract his attention.

"I've never done this before."

"First time for everything," Guan Shan grinned and pulled Tian up. "Come on, and then we will watch a movie."

Guan Shan turned on some Christmas music. They put together the plastic tree and placed it in the corner. They carefully wrapped the lights around it. Their hands touched more than once, and Guan Shan felt that each time He Tian caressed his skin. When the time came for putting up the decorations, Tian was a little clueless how to do it, but after a few minutes, he got the hang of it.

It took them almost an hour to finish the decoration, because Tian distracted Guan Shan with silly dancing and humming, and to put as much glitter as was possible on him, and they had a silly little fight.

"It's beautiful," Tian said, admiring the tree.

Indeed the tree was beautiful.

"I like it, Momo."

Guan Shan smiled.

"So, what movie do you want to watch?"

"Two-headed shark?"

"You still have serious problems, Tian. That movie is rubbish!"

They put away the empty boxes and made a little running competition to the couch. Guan Shan had arrived first; he jumped on the sofa, lay down and grinned.

"I won, you have to sit on the floor."

He Tian didn't care the fact the Guan Shan was occupying the whole couch. He climbed on it and lay behind Guan Shan.

"Hey! Get off!"

"We'll watch the movie like this, or you can move to the floor."

"Fuck you."

Tian squirmed a little, kicked Guan Shan twice during the process, who cursed and complained, but after a few minutes, Tian finally found the comfortable position.

Guan Shan didn't catch a single word of the movie since Tian put his hand on his hips. His fingers were gently moving in circles, slowly finding their way under Guan Shan's T-shirt. That was the moment when Guan Shan decided he'd pretend to sleep, just to see how far He Tian would go.

Guan Shan closed his eyes, fixed his breath in a slow pace, and waited. Minutes passed, but nothing happened. He Tian was still caressing his hips, but their fingers never left that one palm-sized territory. They didn't try to sneak under Guan Shan's underwear or further in the T-shirt. He felt a soft kiss on his nape.

"Sweet dreams, my little Momo," He Tian whispered.

Guan Shan turned around. He decided that would be a normal reaction if he would really sleeping. Now Tian's fingers were on his stomach, but after a moment they left. Guan Shan almost groaned from the lost. Tian pulled the cover on them, snuggled closer to Guan Shan and wrapped his hand around him. He started to caressing his hips on the other side.

After a few minutes, He Tian's fingers stopped moving, and his breathing became slow and steady. Guan Shan peered out from his eyelashes. When he saw that He Tian was asleep, he fully opened his eyes. The TV was still on, the lights of the movie painted Tian's face in different colours, but no matter was colour was it, Guan Shan found it beautiful.

"I hope you'll forgive me," Guan Shan thought.

He reached out for the remote control and turned off the TV. 


	20. Christmas dinner disaster

Guan Shan was cooking. It was Christmas Eve, and he was preparing the dinner, but his hands were shaking so hard, he almost cut his finger twice. Even He Tian noticed that something was wrong.

"You know, I like your cooking, but you really don't have to make this much food. A simple beef stew would be fine for me."

Guan Shan didn't reply; he just concentrated on cutting the vegetables. When he felt He Tian presence behind him, the knife in his hand shook.

"Hey," Tian said softly, "are you alright?"

Guan Shan turned around. They hadn't been this close for a long time. Tian slowly moved his hands on Guan Shan hips and pulled him closer.

"Let me go. The sauce will burn."

"I'm sure you can fix it," Tian whispered, "Did you speak with your mother?"

"Yes, everything is fine there."

"Do you miss her?"

Guan Shan didn't know what was more terrible, the gentle touches and Tian's worried voice or that he will lie again. It wasn't a lie that he talked with his mother today, and everything was fine. It wasn't a lie that he missed her. The lie was that He Tian thought he was in this state because of his mother and the dinner what he had planned.

He Tian touched their noses together. It made Guan Shan weak. He wanted to threw the wooden spoon away and kissed Tian, and tell him what he did, and apologise but luckily the sauce began to sizzle, and Tian stepped away.

"I let you back to work."

Guan Shan checked the sauce, and when he heard Tian went back to the living room, he let out the breath what he didn't know he was holding inside.

He didn't think it would be this hard.

Now that they had Christmas decorations and a tree too, and Tian admitted that he actually like the atmosphere of his apartment, Guan Shan moved to his next mission.

Operation number two: Fixing Tian and Cheng relationship.

A week ago or so, Guan Shan copied Cheng's phone number into his phone, and two days ago he texted him to ask a meeting. He was surprised that Cheng immediately replied, and said he'd pick up Guan Shan from work. He thought they would sit in a café and talk like ordinary people, but he should have known that neither Tian nor Cheng doesn't belong to the normal people group. They were sitting in Cheng's luxurious and intimidating black car and Brother Qiu was with him too.

He invited them for dinner on Christmas Eve and told into Cheng's eye that Tian was okay with that. He said it without stuttering, blinking, blushing. He just fucking lied into the eyes of He Cheng, the first son of a mafia leader. And he could get over this, but he talked about Tian's feeling like he fully knew them, and he was sure some of them weren't true, or god knows. Tian's feelings and thinking was a fucking mystery for him.

"I assume, he misses you," Guan Shan said to Cheng in the car, "we talked on the other day, and he said you two used to talk a lot. The way he said it made me feel he was missing those times. Or if you don't want to fix this completely, you should at least give him a picture of your mother. His memories of her are fading."

Now that was the top lie because he had no idea about this. When he asked Tian, what was his mother like all, he said, "Tall with long black hair, and she was beautiful." This description was pretty shallow, that's way Guan Shan thought Tian's memories began to lose with time.

Cheng didn't reply immediately, he just exchanged a look with Qiu and said he would contact him.

Before Guan Shan got out of the car, he turned back.

"What's your favourite food?"

"Why?"

"I invited you to dinner. I'll cook. Don't worry; it'll be drug-free," Guan Shan grinned.

Cheng wrote to him a few hours later, and they fixed the time of the dinner.

That's why Guan Shan was cooking five different food for dinner. He didn't tell Tian. He was thinking about him, but he was too scared. So he just shut his mouth and hoped for the best.

At 7 p.m. somebody knocked on the door. He Tian looked up from his book and turned his head to the door. Guan Shan took a deep breath and tried to calm down his racing heart.

Tian wanted to open, but Guan Shan reached the door first.

"Hey," Guan Shan greeted Cheng and Qiu with a shy smile, "Come in."

Cheng and Tian were eyeing each other without blinking. Guan Shan helped take off their coat and accompany them inside.

"What are you doing here?" Tian found his voice.

"I invited them for dinner," Guan Shan replied.

Tian looked at him. The expression on his face was unreadable.

"Can I have a word with you in private?" Tian asked. His voice was colder than the whole north pole. They went into the bedroom, and at the moment the door closed behind them, He Tian grabbed Guan Shan and pushed him to the wall. Guan Shan's head hit the wall with a loud thud.

"Ouch!"

"Who do you think you're? What the fuck did you think? How can you betray me like this?"

"Tian," Guan Shan whispered, "You're hurting me."

Tian looked at him with horror when he realised he pushed Momo to the wall with full power. He loosened on his grip, but the anger was still on.

"Why are you doing this?"

"It's Christmas. Just one dinner with them, okay?"

"Why?"

Guan Shan leaned forward, and he touched his nose to Tian's.

"Just dinner. Nothing more."

"Why?"

"Do it for me, please." Guan Shan placed a soft kiss on the corner of Tian's mouth. "Please, Tian, please."

He Tian huffed.

"Alright, but don't you think you'll get off the hook that easily. I need an explanation, and as soon as they step out, you'll answer all of my questions."

Guan Shan nodded and stepped aside. They walked back to the living room where Cheng and Qiu were waiting for them.

"Is everything okay?" Cheng asked.

"Perfectly," Tian answered sarcastically.

Qiu silently stepped next to Guan Shan and whispered to him, "You said, he's okay with it."

Guan Shan didn't have time to reply because as fast as Qiu were on his side, he disappeared at the same speed.

"I like the decorations in your apartment. It's nice." Cheng tried to make a small conversation, and it didn't suit him. He looked just as nervous and confused as Tian.

"Thanks."

"I didn't imagine you for somebody who likes Christmas."

"Then what kind of person did you imagine me?"

Tian wasn't taking part in the conversation; he was attacking Cheng.

"Tian," said Guan Shan warningly. They didn't even sit down the table, and Tian was tried to provoke Cheng.

Tian just rolled his eyes, and replied, "I'm not a fan of Christmas, because it's a family holiday, and since I don't have family... Anyway, the decoration is Guan Shan's merit. He made it."

"Do you, guys, live together?" Qui asked, and Guan Shan almost dropped the bowl.

"Temporary," Tian answered calmly, "Guan Shan's mother is out of the city for a short time, and I invited Guan Shan to stay here."

"It's really nice of you, Tian."

"Yeah, I care about people, not like you, Cheng!"

"I hope you're hungry," Guan Shan said immediately before these two idiots start a fight. "Food is ready."

Guan Shan's mother always says nothing brings people together like good food, and a good meal could even prevent a war. Guan Shan was hoping, that may be a nice Christmas dinner could ease the tensions between Tian and Cheng and perhaps they will start talking to each other again. Guan Shan wasn't only using food for successful his mission.

"What the purpose of this bowl full of notes?" Qiu asked after a few awkward silent minutes.

"That's a Christmas tradition in my family. Each note has a task or questions, and while we're eating, we have to answer it."

On the previous night, Guan Shan waited for Tian to fall asleep and he spent hours to make the notes. He wrote down a lot of question that could help. They were serious questions, but there were lots of funny too, to light the atmosphere, which at the moment they really need.

It seemed Guan Shan suddenly got an ally because Qiu made compliments on the food when they sat down and asked a few questions from Guan Shan.

Qiu reached out for the bowl.

"If you took one, you have to read it out loud, and you also have to answer it."

Qiu nodded and took a little paper out of the bowl.

"Name one bad habit that you should quit," Qiu read loudly, "Hm... I should eat less chocolate, I guess."

"You don't seem a chocolate lover person," Guan Shan said.

"He can eat an entry bar in ten seconds," Cheng commented.

"That's not true!"

"I saw the video," Cheng smirked.

Guan Shan laughed, and also took a paper.

"Did you learn something new this year? Oh, yes! During the summer I had a job in a small restaurant. It was only one week, but the chef let me watch him when he was cooking. I learnt a lot during that week."

"You like cooking, don't you?" Qiu asked.

"Yes, this is one of my passions." Guan Shan took aside the paper, "It's your turn, Tian."

"Not playing," Tian murmured.

"Don't be grumpy. Everybody's playing."

"Well, I'm not."

"Tian, come on."

"It looks like, my brother being shy," Cheng teased Tian, "Well, I go first so he would see he has nothing to afraid of."

"Shy is my ass, you fucking pathetic..."

"That's enough, Tian!" Cheng raised his voice, and took a paper, "Let's see. What do you regret the most this year? Huh, that's a good one and a thought one too."

"Hah! Like you would know the word regret."

"Yes, I know it, and if you don't act like a whiny toddler and let me answer it, you would know it."

"Fuck you! I had enough. I'm not doing this!"

Tian got up from the table, rushed in his bedroom and slammed the door.

"Shit."

"I apologise for my brother's behaviour, Guan Shan. I think we should leave."

Cheng also stood up.

"Cheng, no," Qiu grabbed Cheng's hand. "Go after him. You won't have a chance like this again. Just try to be patient, he's in pain too."

Cheng went to the bedroom, and Guan Shan was waiting for the yelling, but the apartment was silent.

"They're stubborn like a donkey," Qiu said quietly. "Once I tried to make them talk with each other. Firstly both of them reaction was to hit me. Tian wanted to fire me. He said I'm just employee and I should shut my mouth and mind my own business."

"And Cheng?"

"He broke my nose, didn't talked to me for weeks, and gave me the shittest jobs."

Guan Shan sighed. So, a broken nose and silent treatment was the respond if somebody wanted to help them. He started chewing his own lips. He messed up. He fucking messed up. Tian will never forgive him.


	21. Christmas is to forgive

"Get lost," Tian said as soon as he heard the door closing.

"I regret I am not calling you more and not asking how are you," Cheng said quietly. "I regret I do not accompany you when you visit mum's grave. I regret I'm not talking about her."

Cheng took a few steps toward Tian, who was standing near the window, looking out and pretending he didn't hear what Cheng was saying.

"I regret I closed up myself from you," Cheng continued, "I regret I turned my back on you."

"SHUT UP!" Tian shouted and turned around, his eyes were full of tears, "I don't want to hear it!"

"But I want to tell you because I regret these things and many more every minute of my life, and I want you to know how much I'm sorry."

"I don't fucking care! Just leave!

"No! You will listen to me!"

Tian crossed the room with two steps and grabbed Cheng's shirt.

"Shut up! I don't want to hear it. Not anymore! I spent years waiting for your explanation, and everything was more important than your own brother. I don't care you regret it now!"

"Let me explain!"

"It will be a lie, just like everything you say. This is what you can do! Keeping information and lying!" Tian was panting; tears were still rolling down on his cheek. "Remember how strong was the storm that night? Remember it ripped down one of the neighbours' roof? Remember how scared I was? Do you remember what did you told me that night?"

"There's no force in this world that can tear us apart," Cheng whispered.

"And yet, a year after I couldn't recognise my own brother. You were living in the next room, and I felt you were miles away. Then you tried again, tried to befriend with me, and I believed in you! I fucking believed! You told me I could keep that dog! Then you... You..."

Tian couldn't take it anymore. He fell apart in his brother's arm and was sobbing years of sorrow and loneliness into Cheng's chest. Cheng was just holding him, repeating "I'm sorry, I'm sorry" until the words become an incomprehensible chain what was holding them together.

Tian wasn't angry because of the game or because Cheng teased him. No. He was upset because this was too much for him: the dinner, the light mood, the teasing, all the atmosphere. This was what he always wanted. They were sitting there, Cheng and his boyfriend and Tian and Guan Shan, and it just felt too good to be true, Tian couldn't know how to cope with it.

"I hate you," Tian sobbed into Cheng's shoulder.

"I know, and I hate myself too, but please, Tian, give me a chance to explain before you throw me out."

Cheng guided themselves to the bed and sat down. In his arms, Tian looked so small and vulnerable, just like when he was little and scared from the storm.

"You don't have to forgive me, you don't have to say anything. All I want you to listen to me. Okay?"

Tian nodded or not. It was hard to tell because he was still shaking from the sobbing, but Cheng thought he'd never had a chance like this again, so he started to talk.

"When mum died, my life became a mess. Everything changed," Cheng sighed. "It started with our father. He made a lot of new rules what I didn't understand why was necessary. You didn't even notice them at first because you were too busy finding out where mum was. But I hated them. Father started to act strange, and two years later, I learnt the truth."

"What truth?" Tian asked. He managed to pull himself together. He felt embarrassed that he broke down and cried like that.

"That father wasn't just an ordinary businessman."

"What? Don't tell me you didn't know what his job was."

"No, I didn't and neither mother. I found out from one of the servants that she thought she married a businessman. When I learnt the truth, I was broken."

"But you still became like him," Tian snorted.

"Yes, because I didn't have a choice."

"You always have a choice," Tian replied. This was what Guan Shan said to him once, and he started to believe it.

"Now I know, I had, but back then I didn't. I was confused, lonely. I felt betrayed. I wanted to take revenge on our mother and wanted to become stronger. I felt weak because my big brother super calming power wasn't working, and I thought..."

"Your what?" Tian interrupted, surprised.

"Mother always said I have superpowers," said Cheng sadly smiling, "because no matter how hard you were crying, it only took one minute in my arms and you calmed down. But after her death, I couldn't help you, and I thought my power died with her."

"That's why you pushed me away?"

"No. I didn't mean to push you away."

"But you fucking did!" Tian shouted.

"But I didn't mean to. Look, Tian, I know I fucked up. But I was sure my father was an honest man, then it turned out he's the boss of the mafia. Another mafia member killed my mother. I couldn't calm down my own brother, who after one year was still asking when mommy will come back, and I just realised my sexuality. I never felt that weak in my life, it was like I was drowning, and I made bad decisions. When I realised my mistake, it was too late. You hated me, and our father was training me to be his heir. I wanted to quit, but he said if I do, he will make you his heir. I couldn't do that to you. You were already broken, so I stayed and became his right-hand man."

"Don't you think, I'll become softened just because of this," Tian rolled his eyes.

"I won't," Cheng reached into his pocket, pulled out a little photo and handed over to Tian. "I'd like to give this to you."

Tian took the picture and gasped. It was a photo of his mother. He and Cheng were also on the photo sitting next to her. His mother was wearing an elegant dress, and she was smiling.

"It was taken one week before her death."

"I remember this. We went to an event, you stole chocolate for me from the buffet, and you fed me because you were afraid I'd dirty my clothes." Tian was whispering.

This evening was getting too much for him. He got used to being alone and hating his brother. Of course, he always wanted to get him back, but he was too proud to make the first move. Now, Cheng did it, let his guard down and opened up and was ready to start again, talk again, tell him everything that he wanted to know for all these years, answer his questions.

The silent settled on them. Tian was thinking about what Cheng said. Since he became friends with Guan Shan, he questioned almost everything what he knew, and he felt he learnt much more from him than from his tutors, teachers or father. Or it would have been great to learn all those boy-things from Cheng and not from the internet.

"How long have you been together with Qiu?"

"Five months. Is it bothering you? That I'm with a guy?"

Tina shook his head, "I'm no homophobe, Cheng. I'm confused. I think... I think I'm gay too."

Cheng moved closer to Tian, put his hand on his shoulder and squeezed a little.

"You aren't sure?"

"I don't know." Tian was looking at his mother photo while he was talking. "I was together with a girl, and it was okay, I guess. But now..."

"Guan Shan?"

Tian nodded.

"He is so different, you know? When he first met I was my usual easy-going, flirting self, he never felt for my charm. Moreover, it made him angry, and he talked me back and tried to fight with me. He was never afraid of me, no matter how brutally I was. It impressed me and wanted to be friends with him, and it was okay for me a long time, but..." Tian sighed deeply. "But since then kiss under the mistletoe and our Austrian trip, I want more."

"You two went to Austria?"

"Yeah," Tian replied dreamily, "it was amazing."

"How?"

"With the plane."

"You stole father's private jet? He will kill you!"

"I didn't steal it. I told the pilot I have to go there because my father ordered me."

Cheng buried his face into his arms, "Oh my God, never do that again, Tian! Never!"

"I don't want to lose him, Cheng, and I feel I'm going to."

Cheng looked up from his arms.

"He asks a lot about us," Tian gestured on him and Cheng, "about family and business and I think he isn't okay with that."

"Are you telling him everything?"

"No. Only what's safe to say, but I'm not selling business details."

"You have to ensure and tell him, being with you doesn't mean he has to join the business, but he has to be aware of what danger it holds."

Tian nodded. It was good to talk with his brother like this. Tian turned his head to Cheng.

"From now on, don't hide anything from me, okay? And I want to know everything that happened when I was younger. Will you answer my questions?"

"Yes. I want to make it right, Tian, believe me. I want us to have a good relationship again."

"It won't be easy. I'm still fucking angry at you, but I'm willing to try."

Cheng smiled softly, "That's enough for me. How about we go back to eat? Guan Shan is a great cook."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was harder to write than I thought, and I'm not completely satisfied with the result. :/


	22. Sparkler

When the bedroom door opened both Guan Shan and Qiu looked up immediately. Tian was standing next to his brother, his eyes were red and a little swollen. Guan Shan wondered if the other boy cried or it was because of the anger. They were silently standing next to each other, and it was hard to tell if they talked or fight, was the situations better or not.

"Is everything alright?" Qiu asked.

"Yes," Cheng replied shortly.

They sat back to the table, and Guan Shan gently touched Tian's feet under the table. Tian looked at him and smiled a little.

"So, it's my turn, huh?" Tian said. His voice was a little hoarse.

"You don't have," Guan Shan said quietly.

"But I want to."

Tian forced a smile and pulled a paper from the bowl. Guan Shan didn't know what to think now. Was this just acting? Did they talk and make up? Was Tian angry at him or not? If He Tian was fierce, he usually showed it; he attacks verbally and physically too. But lately, his mood was changing like the weather.

Guan Shan didn't even hear which paper did Tian had and what was his answer, he just heard a modest laughed from Cheng. So was everything okay? Guan Shan leaned back and watched them. Qiu took a paper, read it and answer it. The answer followed questions, and a conversation started. The atmosphere turned into light and cosy, and if anyone saw them, they would think they have dinner like this every week.

"Name one thing that you wanted to buy, but you couldn't," Cheng read the next paper, and this was what Guan Shan brought back from his thoughts. That was an interesting one because if Tian could buy anything for himself, he was sure Cheng could do the same.

Cheng let out a long and painful sigh. For a moment, he looked like a child who didn't have enough money for a sticker album.

"I wanted to buy an alligator, but Qiu didn't let me," Cheng sighed, dramatically.

"WHAT? An alligator?" Guan Shan was shocked, but Tian just chuckled. "A real living alligator?"

"Yes."

"But they're eating people."

"They're cute when they are small."

"Cute?" Guan Shan leaned back and shook his head. "This family is sick. Other people want a cat or a hamster, but you want an alligator because they're C-U-T-E!"

"He has a shark," Qiu said.

"You're just kidding, right?"

"No. It's in the Zoo. If you donate a certain among of money you can 'adopt' animals. They put your name near their place, saying you're the honourable parent of this animal."

"It was a gift from Qiu," Cheng added.

Guan Shan glanced at Tian, who was silent and watching his plate.

"Are you okay?" Guan Shan whispered. Tian nodded.

"Tian, I want to show you something," Cheng said. Qiu stood up from the table and made a quick call then he gave the phone to Cheng who placed in front of He Tian.

Video calling was going on, and on the screen, they saw a brown dog happily running around the person who was holding the phone.

"Is it... Is it my dog?" Tian whispered.

"Yes. I couldn't kill it. It was the only thing that made you happy back then; I just couldn't do it. He's living on a farm with Qiu's cousin. We can visit if you want."

Tian was speechless. All these years he thought his brother was a heartless monster and he was so wrong.

"That would be great."

"First sibling program? Hm?"

Guan Shan almost cried just to watch the scene. He just fucking made it! It won't be an easy road, and sure it will be long, but they began to work on fixing their relationship. Tian watched his dog for a while then ended the video call.

"We should take our leave now," Cheng said. "Thank you for the invitations, Guan Shan, the dinner was delicious."

"You're welcome."

"Before you go, would you like to light up sparkler on the terrace?" Tian asked.

"Sure. Why not?"

They all stepped out on the terrace and lit up the sparkles. Brother Qiu was standing next to Cheng. Guan Shan could see they held hands for a moment. Tian was standing next to his brother, Cheng's hand was on Tian's shoulder. Guan Shan closed the line. He interlocked his fingers with He Tian and squeezed his hand, and Tian squeezed back but didn't look at him. Guan Shan still didn't know if Tian was angry at him or not.

The sparkler burnt out too fast., and Cheng and Qiu said their goodbyes. While Tian escorted them out, Guan Shan stayed on the terrace and watched the city lights.

After a few minutes, he heard the approaching footsteps and He Tian wrapped his hand around him. Another unlighted sparkler came in the view.

"One more?" Tian whispered into his ears. Guan Shan couldn't answer he just nodded and picked up the lighter from the railing. The sparkler started to burn, and tiny sparks were flying around Tian's hands.

"I never liked this apartment," Tian said. He was resting his chin on Guan Shan's right shoulder. "When I came here first it was empty. Only a mattress and a credit card were inside, but I liked the view."

"It's breathtaking," Guan Shan whispered. The sparkler slowly burnt out, leaving the two guys in the darkness.

"Let's go inside."

Tian stepped back, and the loss of his body made Guan Shan shiver. Guan Shan wanted to head to the kitchen to clean up the mess what they left there, but Tian grabbed his hand and pulled down on the fluffy, white rug near the Christmas tree.

"I'd like to talk to you," Tian said quietly. He was avoiding Guan Shan's gaze.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter, but we're in the finish. :)


	23. Exchange gifts

Minutes were passing in dead silence, and Guan Shan began to lose his calmness. He prepared himself for Tian's fight, for his harsh words and attack, but not for this. Tian was sitting next to him. His head down, and he was looking at the rug, or not looking anything at all. His long fingers were tangled in the long white strands of the carpet. He looked vulnerable, and it made Guan Shan feel that he has to protect Tian, what was so absurd because this guy can beat the shit out of anybody.

Guan Shan almost said if he wanted to talk he should at least say something, but Tian suddenly wrapped his hands around him and pulled him into a bone-cracking hug.

"Whaaa..." Guan Shan cried out in surprise. "Ughh, you bastard, I can't breathe! Let me go! Chicken dick, you're choking me."

"Thank you," Tian whispered. Not just his look but also his voice was vulnerable, and Guan Shan stopped struggling.

During those weeks while he was living with Tian experience many things. He saw Tian studying, reading, playing on his phone and even cleaning. He heard him treating people on his phone, giving orders to his men, being nice with old ladies on the street. He heard him shouting with him and apologising after. He saw him smiling and being angry too. But he had never heard him saying thank you this honestly and shyly.

"I don't know how to say this, because I've never thanked anything properly. I think today made me a bit overwhelmed."

Tian moved closer, buried his face into Guan Shan's neck.

"Everything is better since you're part of my life," Tian murmured his word into Guan Shan's skin who only could do was hug him back and gently patting his hair. "You gave my brother back, and I don't know how to thank you."

"Idiot, I didn't give anything back to you."

"Not literally, but since I know you, I learnt so much, and because of you I was willing to listen. Half a year ago I'd have thrown him out and not listen to a single word, and I'd have hate for myself for it. But you taught me to listen, to observe, to be patient. You taught me that we always have a choice, that money isn't everything and it's so fucking true, and sometimes the effort is enough. And I missed him so much, but I was too proud to do something about it, and you just invited him over and gave me, us a chance to fix so many years of sorrow, and..."

"Oh my god, you're sappier than a soap opera!" Guan Shan snorted. It was good to hear those words, but he wasn't sure if he could handle a crying He Tian. "A simple thank you is enough."

"Thank you, Guan Shan."

Guan Shan felt a little kiss on his neck, then Tian moved a little, making the hugging more comfortable, and they just sat there in each other's arm, while Christmas songs were playing in the background.

It was nice sitting like this. Guan Shan had missed this closeness, the warmth of Tian's body, his steady heartbeat and strong arms.

"Guan Shan," Tian said slowly, "there's a box under the tree..."

Guan Shan was sitting back against the Christmas tree. Tian reached out, made Guan Shan leaned back for a bit, and he heard Tian turned the box a little.

"...and it has my name on it," Tian finished his sentence with surprise in his voice.

Guan Shan completely forgot he put Tian's gift under the tree. Now, it was his turn to hid his face, what was as red as his hair.

"What's this?" Tian asked curiously.

"Gift," Guan Shan mumbled.

"For me?"

Guan Shan nodded.

"Christmas present for me?"

"Yes," Guan Shan whispered.

"Oh..."

Tian didn't move. He was eyeing the gift, and then he leaned back and saw from the corner of his eyes how red was Guan Shan's ears.

Guan Shan tried to move, ran away to hid in the toilette or the wardrobe. He didn't think; he'd feel this embarrassed just to giving something to Tian.

Tian moved his hands from Guan Shan's back to his arms and squeezed them, silently telling him it'll be alright. Then Tian reached out for the box and leaned back, move away a little bit so that he could put the box between them.

"I never got Christmas present before," Tian admitted as he was slowly tearing the wrapping paper, "and it's heavy. What's inside? Hm?"

Guan Shan didn't reply just watched Tian's face. He looked young, curious and Guan Shan never thought he would think that, but Tian was cute. He looked adorable how he was opening the present, slowly, carefully and his eyes were shining.

Finally, the box was open, and the words left Tian.

"I didn't know what to get you. You're not exactly easy to shop for," apologised Guan Shan and he'd continue if Tian didn't interrupt.

"This is beautiful. When did you buy it?"

"When I went out for a walk."

That morning when Guan Shan felt ashamed of his action and had many questions, he walked around in the snow-covered little village. One of the souvenir shops he found that snow globe what now Tian was holding carefully. A miniature version of the castle was inside with the ice-rink too. Guan Shan didn't know how their story would end, or if it will ever start, but he wanted to give something to Tian that would remind him about that three days because Guan Shan was sure he would never forget that trip. He still dreamed about the village, the walks. Sometimes he could feel the smell of the forest, the taste of the mulled wine and Tian's kisses.

"Thank you. I haven't got anything for you. I didn't know we'd exchange gifts. What would you like for Christmas?" Tian shook the snow globe and watched how the snow was falling on the little building. "I get you whatever you want."

Whatever he wants. Guan Shan swallow hard. There was one thing what his heart was desired the most, but he wasn't sure Tian would give him that.

"Really? I can ask for anything?"

"Of course, Momo!"

"Are you sure?" Guan Shan asked again. He needed a clear and confident answer.

"Yes," Tian looked up, "You can ask for anything."

Their eyes met. Tian's eyes were still a little red, but they were shining so brightly. Guan Shan felt his face started to burn again. His throat got incredibly dried, he needed to swallow his salvia because he couldn't reply, but then he gathered all his courage and looked deep into Tian's eyes.

"You," Guan Shan said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter will be up in a few hours. :)  
> It's happening... ;)


	24. All I want for Christmas is...

"You," Guan Shan said.

There was it.

Out.

Loudly.

Clearly.

He couldn't take it back even if he wanted to. Tian didn't hide his surprise, he put the snow globe aside and pulled Guan Shan back to his embrace.

"Is this your answer?" Tian asked quietly.

"Yes."

"I promise you I'll treat you right, and make you happy.

Guan Shan buried his face into Tian's neck, just like Tian did before.

"But you have to know, "Tian continued, "I can't quit the business, but it won't affect our relationship or your life but, Guan Shan, you have to understand the danger..."

"I don't care," Guan Shan interrupted, "I understand, but I don't care, because... Because you're all I want and not just for Christmas but every day in my life."

Fuck, this whole thing made Guan Shan sentimental too. He wondered where did this cheesy sentence come from, but Tian was only happier with this answer. He squeezed Guan Shan's body more.

"Oh, Momo. My first Christmas is also my best Christmas." Tian was breathing shakily.

Guan Shan snorted, "Pff! Idiot! You don't even know how the next will be."

"Nothing can surpass this. Nothing!"

Holding Guan Shan's body, Tian crawled to the couch and leaned against it. He pulled Guan Shan between his legs, and gently held Guan Shan's chin and lifted his head up. When their eyes met, Tian whispered.

"Can I kiss you?"

Not that Guan Shan would say no, but Tian didn't even wait for the answer he just started to lean forward and only stopped when his lips were was millimetres away from Guan Shan's mouth. Guan Shan didn't reply just gently pushed their lips together. For a moment, he was afraid that Tian would be rough again, but then Tian gently, like his face were made of porcelain, caressed it and gave a little feather-light kiss on his lips. Guan Shan almost smiled, Tian remembered that he liked the soft kisses and tender touches.

They started to kiss slowly, exploring and tasting each other's mouth and tongue, but soon it wasn't enough. The lust was waking up in their bodies and hands went on roaming around.

When Guan Shan slipped his hand under Tian's T-shirt, Tian didn't stop him, only sigh deeply. Tian's t-shirt annoyed him; it was always on his way, couldn't move his hands freely on Tian's body.

Guan Shan's hand went down at the end of Tian's shirt and held them.

"Can I?" Guan Shan asked between the kisses.

"Only if I can take off yours too."

Guan Shan nodded, but they started to pull off each other shirt at the same time, and of course, their hands were blocking the other. Guan Shan sigh in frustration. He lifted his hand above his head and let Tian pull off his shirt, while snuggled closer. Tian dropped his shirt on the couch and helped Guan Shan to took off his too.

For one tiny moment, they didn't dare to move, but then everything exploded, and they got crazy.

They were kissing, biting and nipping each other lips. Guan Shan could feel Tian's ribs; he touched all of them, then Tian's flat, little hairy stomach and he went up for his muscular chest. He stroked over his thumbs on Tian' nipples. Tian shiver from the touches, but he wasn't the only one. Guan Shan had two hands on his body too, that was wandering around just like the same, made him pant, shake and greedy.

Tian pulled him closer; Guan Shan could feel Tian's erection against his. He rolled his hips, rubbed against Tian to see what reaction he would get and the sighs what escaped from Tian's throat made him do it again, and again, faster and harder.

It seemed Tian was enjoying it, but after a while, his hands slowed down on Guan Shan's body, he tried to move away, and the kiss also became leisurely.

"Have I done something wrong?"Guan Shan asked. Tian shook his head. "Then why did you stop?" Guan Shan whispered timidly.

"I just..." Tian laughed nervously, "Fuck. I think I'm nervous. I've never done this before."

"What? But you had sex."

"Yes, but just once and with a girl. This is new for me too."

An unknown monster started to purr contentedly in Guan Shan' chest. There was no other guy in the world who had ever touched Tian. No one. He was his first, and it made Guan Shan more greedy. He smirked and kissed Tian again. This time the kiss was slow but passionate. Guan Shan broke away from Tian's lips and slowly moved to his neck. He kissed the soft skin there. He could feel Tian's pulse under his lips. He bit into the skin, made Tian moaned out loudly.

"Oh, what a beautiful sound," Guan Shan thought, and he did again. Tian moaned just like before. Guan Shan licked Tian's neck, he could savour the bitter perfume and Tian's sweat. He licked his way up to Tian's ears, kissed his earlobe, panted into Tian's ears, just to let him know how much he wants to do this, then slowly licking, biting, kissing moved back down to the middle of Tian's neck.

"Babe...You're killing me," Tian gasped.

Tian's hands started to move on Guan Shan's body again. They were running up and down on his spin, sometimes one went up to his hair. Guan Shan could see a little red spot on Tian's neck where he bit it. He licked the spot again, kiss it softly then he bit into toughly, holding the sensitive skin between his teeth and sucking it hard. Tian's skin was still bitter, but it was also the sweetest thing Guan Shan had ever tasted.

Tian dug his nails into Guan Shan's skin, threw his head back to the couch, and cried out in surprised.

"Fuck. Babe."

A shiver shook Tian's whole body, but after gasping a few times deeply for air, he got back in charge and kissed Guan Shan hard and eagerly.

"I want you," Tian whispered between the kisses.

"I am all yours," Guan Shan was panting the words into Tian's mouth and seemed this was all that Tian needed to find his courage again. His hands moved down to Guan Shan's bottom and grabbed it. Momo moaned into the kiss. Tian gently lay Guan Shan down on the fluffy, white rug and kneeled up. He watched Guan Shan for a moment and when the red-haired boy nodded Tian began to pull down his trousers.

After his clothes were off Tian was unhurriedly caressing Guan Shan's chest and stomach, enjoying the feeling how the other boy was shaking under his touch. Guan Shan was rock hard. Painfully hard. His dick was pulsing, and precum already made a big wet spot on his underwear. Tian looked at Guan Shan to make an eye-contact to see if he was okay, and although Guan Shan was smiling, he wasn't looking into Tian's eyes.

"What?" Tian asked, confused.

Guan Shan reached up and touched Tian's neck. There was an angry red-purple mark where he sucked it. His mark. It was clearly visible, and maybe Tian would be angry tomorrow, perhaps he should have asked, but Guan Shan didn't care. It was his mark. He marked Tian and tomorrow everybody would see that Tian wasn't free anymore. Tian was his just as much as Guan Shan now belonged to him. They belong together.

Guan Shan sat up and kissed his mark, then kissed Tian with need and passion. He reached to Tian's trousers and kept his hand there, waiting for Tian's approval to go on, and when he nodded in the kiss, Guan Shan pulled down the clothes. They struggled a little, it was hard to take of Tian's trousers when he was kneeling on them, but they didn't want to stop the kissing. In the end, Tian fell on the rug next to Guan Shan, and they both smiled into the kiss.

Tian pulled Guan Shan closer, his hands were everywhere, caressing, wandering all around on Guan Shan's body. Guan Shan pressed his thigh between Tian's leg, and he felt the wetness on Tian's underwear too. He was also hard, and his cock was pulsing, aching for relief just like Guan Shan. Guan Shan breathe in through his nose, and he moved his hand from Tian's shoulder to his muscled chest, over his nipple, down to his stomach where he stopped.

This is an important moment. He would do something he had never done before. Tian's stomach was rising and falling under his hand. Guan Shan breathed in again, gather his courage and dived into Tian's underwear. He didn't know if Tian was big or not, he only held his own before but Tian's cock perfectly fitted in his hand. The skin was smooth; the top was wet and oozing precum continuously. Tian's tongue stopped in his mouth for a moment, but after a gentle touch, it started to move again with more excitement.

Firstly, he just moved his finger little by little up and down, learning Tian's shape and memorising every moment of this, then he wrapped his finger and started to slowly stroking him. Tian hand stopped on his hip and grabbed him. He was panting so hard he couldn't keep up with the kissing, and he needed to break away. His body twitched when Guan Shan smeared the silky precum with his thumb. He shyly opened his eyes to see Tian's face, and he almost cum just for the sight.

Tian's eyes were closed, his cheeks were pink, lips were swollen, and saliva glistened on it, and mouth panting for air. There were no shields or mask, it was pure truth, and it was the sexiest and most beautiful thing what Guan Shan's eyes ever witnessed. Then Tian opened his eyes, and Guan Shan almost lost his goddamn mind there. Tian's eyes were filled with tears, but they were sparking, more brightly than the sparkler what they lit a ten minutes ago. Or was that an hour ago? Guan Shan didn't know, because Tian was looking at him, telling him things with his eyes, something that there were no right words, and Guan Shan didn't even want to put them into words because they would be too common, too base for this miraculous moment.

Then Tian moved. Shaky fingers went into his underwear, and his dick immediately twitched when the skin touched the skin. Tian mirrored Guan Shan movements, gently stroking then the smearing and Guan Shan moaned into Tian's mouth because this was fucking good, and now Guan Shan understood why Tian was in a state like that. He started rocking his hips to urge Tian to move his hand faster.

"Shan... Please..." Tian moaned.

It was unbelievable for Guan Shan how much power he had over Tian at that moment. He was so open, showing emotions, moaning and shamelessly begging, but before he could be full of himself, he heard his own voice too.

"Please... Faster... Please..."

And here he was, moaning and begging just as shamelessly as Tian. Guan Shan wanted to kiss Tian again, just to hid his embarrassment, but after a quick peck, Tian pulled away.

"Please, don't... Don't hide it. Let me... Let me hear you. You're so bea-beaut-beautiful. Oh, fuck! Babe, don't stop! I'm going to.. Nghh..."

The end of the sentence vanished into a long and beautiful moan, and Tian's body winced. In the first moment of pleasure, he gripped his hand around Guan Shan's cock, stroked it hard, and it was enough for Guan Shan to fall apart, moaning out Tian's name loudly and felt the ecstasy.

It was almost unbearably good. The wave of endless pleasures hit him, ran down in his spine, made his body shaking violently and wishing it would never stop. It was something he had never experience before. It wasn't like masturbating. It was way much better, and he didn't know an orgasm could be like this.

His vision became white, his ears filled with Tian's voice, moaning his name, and his nose filled with the smelled of Tian's perfume, sweat, semen, mixed with the odour of the Christmas tree, the burnt sparkler, the food from the kitchen. He knew this would always remind him about his first experience, his first real orgasm, and He Tian.

Guan Shan was slowly coming back from his high. His whole body was sensitive, unexpected tiny pleasure waves showed up and made him shiver as he realised Tian's hand was still in his boxer. When he opened his eyes Tian was watching him, and he couldn't control his face he had to smile, and Tian smiled back softly, and it made Guan Shan smiled more, and in the end, they were grinning like idiots, hands still in the other's pants.

"That was fucking amazing!" Tian whispered.

"Yeah," Guan Shan was nodded in agreement, still smiling like an idiot, "fucking amazing."

Tian gave on last gently caress to Guan Shan's softened dick and pulled out his hand. He watched the shinny, white fluid on his hand then lifted to his mouth and licked it.

"Don't!" Guan Shan said with wide eyes.

"This is also you, and I want all of you."

"Don't ruin it, please," Guan Shan mumbled, his face was red. He pulled out his hand from Tian's boxer, but he didn't know what to do next. "It makes me uncomfortable."

Tian leaned forward and kissed Guan Shan's neck.

"I'm sorry. Let me clean you, alright?"

Guan Shan nodded and closed his eyes, enjoying the little kisses what Tian was giving him, while he was searching for tissues with one hand. Tian kissed his shoulder, neck, earlobe, neck again, cheek and the corner of his mouth. Guan Shan turned his head and kissed Tian on the mouth, pushed his tongue between his lips. Just because Tian tasted his semen, he wouldn't give up on the kisses what he could have. Tian was surprised but didn't protest. Guan Shan tasted something funny on Tian's tongue, but his kiss was still sweet and divine.

"This will be cold," Tian whispered, and Guan Shan wanted to ask what would be cold when he felt the wet tissue inside in his underwear, and his body jerked.

"Cold."

"I told you," Tian smiled and kissed him again. He gave one tissue to Guan Shan to clean his hand, and when they both were clean, Tian spooned behind Guan Shan and covered themselves with a Christmas blanket what was on the couch.

They were silently watching the Christmas tree. The lights were slowly turning into red and yellow, and green, painting the room it different colours.

"You have freckles on your back," Tian said, he was still giving small kisses on Guan Shan's nape, shoulder and back.

"Yeah, I have those little bastards all over my body. So annoying."

"Really? I want to kiss all of them."

This was so peaceful. Guan Shan knew the kitchen was a mess, the food was still on the table, and they should get up and put it in the fridge and clean, but he just smiled, and snuggled closer to Tian. He reached out for the snow globe, shook it, and watched the snowstorm in the ball.

"Merry Christmas, Guan Shan," Tian whispered and squeezed his hand. Guan Shan squeezed back.

"Merry Christmas, Tian."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaand Merry Christmas to you all! (and Happy New Year!) 😅🤷  
> Oh, this would have been the perfect ending if I could have finished it on time. But I hope you still like the end. :)  
> (How creative I was with the chapter title and the first sentence? I'm a genius! 😏😅 just kidding...)  
> I want to thank everyone! It was an incredible journey and I appreciate your nice comments and support. It makes me incredibly happy, and it gave me the strength to keep going. At the moment (13/01/2020) this story has 376 kudos which is unbelievable! Thank you so much!  
> In the beginning, it was so hard to write, because I haven't written anything since 2019 May, and I was so out of practice, but day by day it was easier even when Christmas was a crazy rush for me.  
> Anyway, thank you so much again!  
> Tell me which was your favourite part (you can't say the last chapter, because I know you were all waiting for this. I was too :D)  
> Take care, guys, and see you in my next story! ❤️  
> Selly

**Author's Note:**

> Comments, opinions and kudos are more than welcome! :)


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